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Saturday, May 21, 2011

AssClown Chronicles, the comeback.

So when I first started this blog I used to do this thing called AssClown chronicles where I would randomly put people on blast for coming at me with some really Ig'nant (see ignorant) shit and since my rights stop at their face the blog seemed therapeutic enough.

I've been pretty busy in the last year or so and prior to that I've just been having fun with Mr. Man. Well yesterday - I received a text invite (yeah great manners right) to a BBQ from a girl I kind of associated with from my Psychology class. See below - that's her pic.

Anyhow, we weren't that close - we would always stop and talk and all that and she was humpin this guy (see pic below) in the class who was like 24. I mean whatever - Mr. Man is 5 years younger than me - but um Well um, it's just that um. This chick was humping a guy 20 years younger than her AND she was still married. Claiming to be separated but in my book, if you are separated enough to live in separate states you are separate enough to be divorced. That's just grimy




Secondly don't tell me that you are the same age as me and you have a 25 year old daughter coz that means that you would have been giving birth at 12 years old beeyotch! That's SUPER gross that you are sleeping with a dude that is 1 year younger than your oldest kid. Sick. Finally - don't preach all this I love the Lord, and God is Good, and I am fasting to have a clear spirit...and you left 2 of your 4 kids with your ex, you sleep with some guy while technically married, you threaten to kick young girls asses for looking at the guy you sleep with casually, and you come to class with liquor in your slurpee cup. Pfffft.


So I already know everyone is asking so what set this off.

....well yesterday I was running around minding my own business and babysitting a friends kids and I got a text message - actually a series of FOUR text messages...Inviting me to a barbecue. Here let me quote them:

text 1: my daughter xanise is going to the Navy, come to her swim party to send her off Saturday 10am to 4pm

text 2: at 1111 Who Gives a Shit Stret, Phoenix at the pool area, BBQ, potluck, we have the condiments and nachos we need more meat or hotdogs

text 3: turkey preferably or whatever you want to or can bring, xanise herself only needs 2 more items to ship her off, up to $20 cash and a phone card, to call

text 4: fam and friends when she is able to, hope to see you there, call me if you need to :)

Um how you gonna tell people you are half Mexican half Cuban and call tortilla chips nachos?
Um why the **** would I call your ass?

All I can say is that it's pretty OBVIOUS that you are from FRESNO. hahahhaa. That was one of the conversation breakers for me, the guy she slept with and her is that we were all from California - but as soon as she said Fresno - she lost me LOL.

How you gonna ask people to come to a potluck BBQ and then say that you have no meat or even hotdogs LMFAO. Then on top of that request a specific type of meat HAHA. I was almost tempted to show up with a case of strawberry preserves lol. But I'm not going to waste my gas that's for damn sure. Oh and on top of ALL that bullshit ask for 20 bucks and a phonecard for your kid. Hey hooker - maybe if you weren't so busy sleepin with dudes half your age you could provide for your own kid. LMFAOOOO dumbass.

Plus - she was always talkin about how she was on state assistance, and section 8 finally went through so she could finally get her own place instead of having to go by someone elses rules and she was glad she got foodstamps and so on and so forth. Now I' not going to knock anyone who needs these things - what I am going to knock is that you expect others to provide the most expensive part of the barbecue and THEN also expect others to provide cash and a phonecard. Bwaa hahahha Get outta here. I knew I didn't like her but this just cements it.

Did I mention regardless of the behavioral disorder we were discussing she somehow always brought the topic to sex. SICK - really. Gross. Bad enough that you already procreated 4 times and left half your kids with your husband in another state but now you wanna talk about it - just stab me with a rusty fork why don't you.
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See this is the exact kind of bullshit that is going on around all of us everyday. Dumb hamhead assclown hookers thinking they are entitled to some shit. Get your own shit man. The world is changing and pretty soon you will be rocking that RFID chip instead of the condoms you should be using with all those young boys I see you walkin around campus with LOL. Sad hooker. I sure am glad she doesn't know where I live - because when SHTF that's the last face I wanna see - and it's certainly someone I wouldn't gladly feed.

But I've got plenty of low carb lead if you'd like that with some sausage. HAHA.

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