21 Nov 2005: Just have Fun (LA)

sneak onto rooftops...

and take pics with your friends...

get scared out your mind on a fire escape go to the temple of boom...and climb a ratchety ladder, only to find some friends smokin' a bowl and you turn around to see the funniest random shit ever on the wall...

you know i had a great time and a lot of stuff was cleared that needed to be cleared and time away was fun...jason - fabulous, linda - fabulous, sabrina - fabulous, jena - fabulous, nuke - hilarious...it was nice to be out of control for a minute and to get out of town - but after day 6, i need structure in my life. I can't even perceive how i would disappear overseas for 4-6 week jaunts of doing nothing...i just wanna say it's so nice to get up when you feel like it...i just wanna say it's nice to play chef in foreign kitchens...

we were completely pressed for time and i din't get to see Alfie - hey Alfie, as soon as the Mini Cooper S Convertible comes in - i'm your houseguest -- yanno. hahhahhaa.

i wanna thank my ghetto tourguides...

it was kewl meeting n.... dad and little sister...they are so kick back and natural - there is nothing forced about them:

can i just say how yummy it is to get mochi again...can i just say how much better boba is on the west coast...ahhh little things...me and dae had a great time...i can't wait to go another road trip again... i'm sure it will be soon

10 Nov 2005: not so unbelievable

not so UNBELIEVABLE...

it figures

the man i thought was a titan

turned out to be an emotional midget...

---

he was nice enough to get aggressive with me after my mouth got poked and prodded at the dentist - on a complete lack of sleep because i was in pain all night and on an empty stomach. THEN he calls ME hella fake. that's it, that's done. it's dead. it was just a pipe dream. i'm glad i followed my initial instincts - that he was too good to be true...

nonetheless - it's still over with n....but now it's over for all men - i'm fed up as hell. How dare he fucking talk to me like that. how dare Joseph talk to me like that like he has my back and all that shit - and then in the same treacherous breath turn around and reprimand me for having feelings. What a sanctimonious prick...

09 Nov 2005: WTF part III

WTF part III

why did i go into the cabinet and my sugar free peanutbutter is missing...why? nobody here watches their sugar intake but me

don't eat my josephs sugar free crunchy peanut butter. damnnit WTF!!!

Why are my ecko hipster sweats missing...WTF!!!

Who took my little white BEBE hoodie!!! WTF WTF WTF!!!

Why is the doggie a toesucka now!!! WTF.

I still need a haircut...i look like Saucy Kutcher!!! WTF.

Can't Sleep WTF

Can't Eat WTF

Ran out of Titanium White oil paint WTF

Nobody loves me, W.T.F.

I hurt everyone around me. Hella WTF!!!

My brother got diagnosed yesterday with thallasemia...some genetic blood disease tht runs in asian folks. So we made him a yummy homie meal of jalapeno bbq meatloaf, mashed potatoes and some sauteed greens and brocolli with roasted garlic. He's at the gym as we speak. Weird - he's like the healthiest most buffed person I know - now we all have to get tested. I'm sad for all of us...WTF!!

Again, where is my peanutbutter!!! wtf...

08 Nov 2005: i could...

I could...

I could fall in love with you

but you would just consume me

I could drown in ur eyes

but you would sever my every limb

I could write until Buddha stopped me

but you would say why did you stop at all

I could look you in that face i've known since before times

but you are determined to break me

I could smolder in your presence

but what could come of that - just death

I could die in front of you

but you'd mock me in that dying weakness

I could put it all out there

but you'd sway that bay swagger

and tell me

you're soft 'ma

and my heart would dwindle

to a wisp of smoke

as i exhaled.

Each time i genuflected emotionallly

you poked and prodded me verbally

don't say i'm sensitiva

coz when a wild uncaged animal presents its gut

it's to be petted, not to be shoved away

Perhaps this is the lesson of this lifetime

Perhaps we should get our shit together

because we still speak a different language

as eras go by

I could change the worlds as we know it

but you'd never really understand

would you.

07 Nov 2005: 2 days

2 days is like forever

i was sent home today coz my jaw is hurting...and you could see me physically wincing when i got around the freezers and such. it hurts and it hurts and there are other hurts. oh well i'll get over it, just like i get over everything. it sucks to be such a quick heal.

05 Nov 05: It evades me

sleep evades me...the last two nights i've gotten a total of maybe 7 hours sleep. Combine that with 8-9 hours per day on my feet in chef clogs then ending the night with another 5-7 hours in stiletto boots. The nights before that I got 5 hours of sleep a night max. I know I'm such a trooper for holding it down. but today - i'm pooped. Just plain old exhausted. I think for a change I might actually sleep hard. At least I hope so.

Tonight I worked all day in a haze since I stayed out last night til about 2am or so. I'm glad I went though coz nuSun and Keyla had fun and I think they both needed those drinks. After work I had committed to going to a baby shower for one of the girls at the shop. our GM L------ is so cool about this shit. Obviously I haven't had time to make anything since I've been running around with my head cut off and the sky is falling and all that shit. So I bought a premade cake and finished it. I actually ended up buying 2. The bakery hoe was like that's all we have, I said you can't just ice a cake in plain white because I have marzipan pieces and chocolate of my own. She said no - we're behind schedule. I said I don't give a shit about your schedule - as a customer what i'm asking you is if you can squeeze in a plain cake and charge me full price. That hoe said noooo. So I worked with the two and then built a tower of diapers with bows and Rocky brought in a stuffed puppy and stuffed pony for the top of it. It was a little faux cake built up entirely of diapers. It looked fabulous on the table with the food and cake surrounding it. I had originally told the GM I'll clock out and make up the chocolate time on Tuesday - coz I don't wanna lag on projects I should have done at home. She said why - just stay on the clock, but you can't spend 5 hours on marzipan. bwaa hahahah. That was really cool of her. She didn't have to do that.

Esther was rather gracious about everything and we genuinely love her. Frankly, she is one of the most beautiful preggo women I've ever seen. She was just genuinely happy to have all her friends and family around her - and I love seeing happy people. Her twin is just fucking hilarious - and I love to watch the two of them bicker - it's so entertaining...

I started thinking about it - There were over 25 women in that room - with random boyfriends and fiancees having beers in the garage. I don't even know 25 women in Arizona that I would invite to any kind of kitschy event like that. All my cousins are far away. My best friends are in Calie...bwaa hahaha - I guess it's good I don't do kitschy huh. LMFAO.

Pics will be posted later after L------ gives mee a copy tomorrow.

12 Nov 2005: Sparrows and Soul

Sparrows and Soul

I acquired the jasonrudolphpena piece...got poked in the butt inadvertently with a cello stick...ooops booty alert. I'm so tickled I just love this piece so much...it's almost scary...but i love it so...And if anyone out there gives a shit I want the natalie wood piece for christmas....

then we went to the Loft...

fun times - saw gia and tim and phat e and everyone. n.... had a drink, keyla had 3 and i had watah!!! there was a girl with a mullet in disguise taking everyones pics...i dunno - i let her. Some drunken girl came up to me and said - are you Asian - I said yes. She said ohhh ur so pretty. I said, erm thanks. Then she crouched down - like she was coppin a squat and said in my face - is that your real hair. Bwaa hahahhaha. I said yes. She said are you sure - I said yes I wake up it looks like this, I go to bed it looks like this, I blowdry or airdry - it looks like this. She said nu Uh. I said yes, fine fuckin' touch it. Dude - she really mussed my shit up good. I just laughed and shook my head and it all went back into place. She said OMG i hate you. bwaa hahaha.

This bitch. Bwaaa hahahahhah

01 Nov 2005: my day off

i woke up early by habit...

but it's my day off damnnit...

soo i'm goin back to bed

coz i can

maybe drop dead

and wake up in the next lifetime instead...

but i can't coz i have a lot to do

a lot to share

a lot to teach

so i think i'll stay awhile.

even if these tides are changing

in a fucking waterless dessert