So I'm sittin outside under one of those lit up pre full moon skies and it's so still. Smatters of lightning are playin up there from far away. I started thinkin' about this thing I wrote earlier in the year...
I found it...
06 feb 2006
when...
...When I fall off the see saw
would you run and help me up
would you brush the sand out
of my socks and mary janed feet...
...When I stumble
over grassy paths and high school math
would you pull your desk closer
and say i'll help you through...
...When I choke down 28 units of learning
would you force me to watch bad movies
and fall asleep against your chest out of
sheer exhaustion. Then when my breath
slowed to even pattern, would you whisper
I love you but I can never say...
...When I get lost around the world
walking in the dark through unknown places
refusing maps, helpful suggestions and
partaking of meals from many other mothers.
Would you be there at the airport, your grin
still shy from many months or years apart...
...When I cripple my soul and cage myself
with corporate work and bills and mortgages
with the demands of impending adulthood
would you remind me of LSD stars in the sky...
...When I speak in tongues
be that language foreign, filipino or fashionable
would you calmly wait for english...
..When the table is set for Family Favourites
would you have the cultural sense
not to POINT and ask...
...When I free myself
would you leave me to heal for a moment...
...When my polka dotted kitten shoes
step off an escalator in that far away airport
would you tilt your head and grin
because you can't believe it's true...
...When I celebrate
because I finally found a way to do what
I was meant to do by trudging another
educational and crafty path
would you raise your glass...
...When LIFE is so crazy
and bonkers and nuts, because
people like me need 28 hours in a day.
would you let me blurr past you but
hold me deep inside...
...When I weave a cocoon
because I am smothered by
every day normalities
would you patiently wait...
...When I don't understand for a moment
would you be my translator...
...When my strength deteriorates because
I've lived long enough and strong enough
would you put your withered hand in mine...
...When it's time
would you...
---
that kind of writing seems so far away from me now...
I was so strong - just so damn strong but
the past is still what it is - it has passed...
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