09 Dec 2006: It's not just that...

He's got good timing and luck....So I hung out with J***** and J** again last night. I'd had a bad day...he smoothed my hair and said we all have them baby...try to relax. So I watched a flick and smoked a little over a movie that I'd never seen. I listened to them crack on some funny shit on tv, laughed til our eyes teared up and just relaxed. Good shit.

I fell asleep this time and jarred awake.

So this is what it's like to have a battle of wills in your waking hours. To go close up smile versus close up smile and then fall together until your breathing has rhythmic similarity? How much patience is in that deep soul of yours? That sleepy scent isn't so cloying anymore and neither is your instep resting on my calf. How can you possibly wake up smiling when the alarm rang so early.

"no, stay in bed"

He shaves and I tilt my head and watch him. He catches me looking and smiles at me reflectorily. I wave and knock out again. He would stop periodically and come to brush my hair out of my face or to give me a kiss or to run his hand down the back of my leg. Apres shower he sat in bed and we talked a bit more affectionately. He wants to see "where i'm at...and take his time figuring me out..." **shrugs** There's not much to figure out - anyone can ask me and I'll telll them. It's not hard.

I'm a little miffed by such patience...perhaps he's different, maybe not.

"it's not just f******, it's about more than that"

"it's not just how you look but how you are"

"it's your brains and how you think"

"it's your eyes and how they fire and plot"

"it's your cheeks so sweet and inviting"

"it's you..."