06 Dec 2004: Entry 143

E N T R Y 143

How befitting is this...that once allowed to pick any holiday at all I would pick valentines and ahhh ohhh don't blame a girl who's heart bleeds chocolate. bwaaa hahaha

bogey and bacall

I named it thus because it is a miniature chocolate torte topped with fresh berries and the most exquisite smattering of powdered sugar - bittersweet but a perfect pair. Clearly this was chefs favourite. Yes that's a love cookie don't hate. haha

heart puffs filled with diplomat cream. Diplomat cream is awesome, I love it - it's airy and friendly to the palate it doesn't lollagag around your throat the way pastry cream does. Most people like pastry cream better coz it's more rich - more custard...I like the hint of custard more than anything else. So yah this is a heart on a heart with cream and then a slivered berry on it. It's leaning towards sickeningly kyoote - but I like the flavour of this.

towering hearts filled with cream

This job is my favourite - staggered heart cut outs from puff pastry...crunch yet the center is filled with a light diplomat cream that you can dip the hearts in. yet on the side I put a chocolate touch...2 bebe hearts bleeding with chocolate...chef said this was heavy - but this was the crowd pleaser - especially topped with that 10 inch piece of sugar i made. A lot of folks who saw this little tower really dug it..in a real restaurant setting I would probably make it 3 high with 1 bleeding heart, but for school i maxed it.

N.... loved eating this monster, he's like oh bae this is yum *insert nodding and grinning and chewing and digging in pastry box for more!!!*...he gave me the most sincere look and said you haven't failed me yet and I know you never will. LMFAO...

Apple Towers

This is just a basic piece to show off macadamia nuts dipped in caramel. I made a phyllo apple/pear streudel cut it bias on a few pieces and then set them up like towers - positioned 3 macadamias with sugar strands. and then placed creme anglaise and a streudel white wine sauce i made. After removing the apple and pear from the sauce - i added about 8 oz of white wine to the sauce and reduced it. Once it reduced I threw in a handful of sugar and stirred until it was plating consistency. That was the yummiest part of this dish. Phyllo streudel just reminds me of lumpia on steroids. hahaha. N..... ate this thing like he hadn't eaten in days - well he had been at the club and don't get me started on the chocolate pockets I made. Hhahaha he ate those like an ethiopian in the back of a red cross truck. bwaaa hahaha.

I have one last set of plate photos coming and then i'm onto making candy and wedding cakes. All that jazz and all that good stuff. bwaaa hahaha - money makers that's what they are about. only 6 more school weeks and then I am done and stuff. I'm sniffing around for externships. Imagine that. It's gone by so quick - I only wish that I could take some more bread classes. It seemed that segment went by hella quick and Chef G hella made me hate bread...I also have sugar pulling and chocolate design left. exciting but nerve wracking...bleh.

Meanwhile I lucked out and I'm surrounded by some real true type friends and a fella that loves me like baNOODLES...can life be any better...blessings rain on us despite our challenges yanno!!!

28 Nov 2004: Plating not Hating

I am now in Baking 211. Plating and Design Principles

Mad about Mango: Mango Flan with a creme anglaise and a Mango Sauce with Green Tea Infusion. I made some caramel pieces and for crunch I made a whiskey sesame tuile. Chef didn't really dig it coz I let the flan steam a bit long but overall it's a creamy job.

Chocolate Torte.




Fabulous and Flourless...only a real chocolate junkie could have love for this piece. I love keeping things monochrome it always seems to bring out the best in my work. Chef has alluded that I will be able to make trademark and seductive desserts. Nice

IT always seems when I love the design she hates it - so I feign ambivalence about all of my work. I've also stopped drawing plate designs coz in the past when I've designed plates on paper - they have shown up on other peoples plates - there is no integrity so I'm only freestyling...

24 Oct 2004: I got you Muh'fuQQa

I got you Muhfukka...

I know what you want

before you want it

I have what you need

before you remember to need

I hold what you fiend for

And believe me you are always fiending

Do I not feed your hungers

In your heart

In your mind

In your soul

Last of all did I not feed your belly

All those morsels

I made for you

to feed your eyes

to scent your nose

to make your belly happy

But I ain't mad

You keep me on my toes

And are my living reminder

To eat faces and Kick ass

All Day all night

You remind me

That i'm Someone

u got ME muhfukka....

you got me

I know what you want

24 Oct 2004: The Latest sweetest Things

chocolate vanilla bavarian (mousse cake)

That was my final and I got an A...I was pretty confident that I was gonna get that A only just because we practiced the damn thing like 4 x. but you know shit - I was really shooting for a 97 so I was disappointed that I only got a 95. Oh damn well, what can I do. Just keep pluggin on and begrudgingly accept the damn A's I get...

That cake is damn good - coz the vanilla mousse and chocolate mousse are separated by a thin layer of chocolate biscuit cake. It borders bitter but the cream levels it out.

It's been such a fun ass week. Just catching up and hanging out and he's met all the girls and stuff --- so while I'm in class he holes up in the rapper holdout with full access to the internet and phone while I kick 5 or so hours @ school. LOL...that way I don't have to drive all the way home things being how late it is. LOL.

It's so funny --- it's like we have not been apart for 6 weeks. It's like from minute one in Palm Springs we've just been blah blah blah churr churr churr yada yada yada...He loves the desert as much as the desert loves him and it's strange but he just seems to fit into all this sun and pavement. We went to one gig and then he touched base and now he's got 2 shows. So next week we got 2 things to hit...

I can't complain about one damn thing.

He met dad - thumbs up.

He met kuya - thumbs up.

He met Katie and Kae - thumbs up.

He met Jenatick - thumbs up.

Hahaha many many of the white girls seem to like him. If they only knew they are the wrong side of baked. This one Asian girl at the club was eye-in' him like Polka Kielbasa in the grocers freezer. That's some mad funny shit - coz I don't even think her outfit cost as much as my caramel coloured stilletto boots. It was most funny. So now life resumes - and he tells me, " you are one weird girl...and I'm glad you're mine..." I said, " why is that..." He laughed and said," coz I'll never be bored for the rest of my life..." Imagine that...

Alfie sent me a comment sayin, " this is the kyootest pic ever..." the best part of it is that the one she picked is the one that is my favourite. Artists share the same vision...It's amazing how happy we look - but more amazing than that is how happy we are...we move in tandem and still finish each others sentences - even though he is getting more comfortable being my best friend and talkin shit to me.

Not so Minty Fresh Muhfukka...

He's talkin' about stayin...

I can't imagine a day without him

23 Nov 2004: Artistic Integrity

I doubt that it exists...okay except like epademic emcee esq, Alfie, Kenya...and a handful of handfuls...but in Le Cordon Bleu - i doubt that it exists...I see people sniffing around and sizing up competition...I see them trying to glean ideas - as it was in art school it is now - i keep my lip buttoned and my sketches at home.

Classic mini flan...just with a berry, anglaise and chocolate sauce

Cinammon creme brulee with touches of caramel and anglaise...

Blech i wasn't really feeling the plating but i got it done

This is my Peppermint Patty...White chocolate mousse with peppermint sprinkles and a chocolate peppermint sauce. Yeahhh I made those funky cookie leaves and chocolate pieces.... Tan Ta Naan Tan Tan...ladies and gentleman - the dream dream dream da dream...ladies and gentleman...

This is my Chocolade Bebecake...4 layers of chocolate cake with chocolate filling with a chocolate envelope, chocolate pieces and chocolate sauce...feed your PMS that beeyotch. hahahaha. I love this piece...Chef didn't have one bad thing to say about it...

I'm just getting over a cold so forgive my lack of exuberance...Also, everyone in class has taken to the most annoying whistle bullshit...It's actually rather hilarious - the subtle cries of attention that people need...fortunately I was paid enough attention in childhood and my boyfriend is a little OVERattentive - but better to be exhausted and happy than to do annoying shit to get attention. A lot of stuff I seem to see lately borders on hokey...but I guess not everyone mom got them a subscription to W and Vogue at age 12...

16 Oct 2004: Krucified

You know what you get for originality and drive? You get fucking crucified. I got this treatment in Beginning Baking. I got straight hated on. Two of us would turn in the same exact product and I would get like 2-4 points lower than the other girl. Frankly I won't put up with this shit...I'll switch to another time module. I will not be graded unfairly. First of all, let me say --- good for them they got a hella good grade. Second of all, let me say --- I do not deserve a lower grade than anyone else, not when my station is always tv ready and my products are photo ready. I stayed on top of my shit and I was ready to dress the plate with 8 thumbnails of potential platings. Thirdly, look at the pics below, they speak for themselves.

Krucified...

You know what you get for originality and drive? You get fucking crucified. I got this treatment in Beginning Baking. I got straight hated on. Two of us would turn in the same exact product and I would get like 2-4 points lower than the other girl. Frankly I won't put up with this shit...I'll switch to another time module. I will not be graded unfairly. First of all, let me say --- good for them they got a hella good grade. Second of all, let me say --- I do not deserve a lower grade than anyone else, not when my station is always tv ready and my products are photo ready. I stayed on top of my shit and I was ready to dress the plate with 8 thumbnails of potential platings. Thirdly, look at the pics below, they speak for themselves.

I did an 8 inch round for the charlotte russe. Lady fingers all the way around and a cocentric circle base. Not a DROP of that bavarian mousse dripped. My lady finger fence closed all the way around and I had NIL seepage...I also made sure that i piped and baked off those circles and separated fingers...to ensure the design was uniform with the cake so the top indicates what type of cake it is and the mousse stayed smooth and unPUTRIFIED by a bunch of bullshit plating. I threw it off the plate too quickly since I was disgusted with it, but I had the plate zigzagged with creme Anglaise and a smattering of pistachio - that lovely fucking hydrangea green looked smashing against the mousse. Observe on the top of the cake I sliced one lady finger vertically just to prove my knife skills are neat and clean...

Notice the balance...It is neither overdone nor underdone...the white corners of whipped cream is only for accent and to seal the corners...Notice how shiny that plate is...I did everything but rub it on my fucking KNOCKERS. Notice that there is both subtlety and balance. However I was reprimanded for hitting the roulade with the brown part out. Whatever. that pale spongy inside is ugly, without contrast it all looked kaka, so I reversed it...also, everyone did theirs in little domes. I did mine in the cylinders so it was all okay closed tight and cinched right...Of course I got reprimanded for 2 spots of seepage.

So in the end. What is my grade. I got a 95. I looked around the room. I saw runny chocolate. I saw drippy sloppy slutty leaky preserves. I saw corny ass fucking curlicues and rosettes. 90 percent of the class didn't even sauce. I had my sauce chilling in a mini bucket before the cake was even locking in the blast freezer. I had glaze going while my plates were resting. So I got 4 points here and there due to little knocks to my score. I was bitching in the hallway to nuSun and I know chef heard and I really don't give a shit. Coz I'll straight switch to the mid day class. I don't much give a shit, but I know this. I finished my shit 8pm. I started at 6:15. I knocked out 1 large cake and 4 small cakes in less than 2 hours. With a cleaner station. With cleaner slices. With advanced preparation for plate dressings and without wasting any shit. So how is it that the others scores 2 or 3 points higher than me.

Only St Michael knows. You know how he knows. Coz he's the patron saint of bakers that's how.

Then one of those girls tried to give me a hug. She got 2 points higher than me and her shit was sliced all fat like beat up pussy. Then of ALL fucking people...Jena told me well girl it doesn't matter once you get out of school...no one looks at your grade. I said it's not just the grade Jena, it's the principal of the matter. My shit was hammered out quick and on point tonight - there is no god damn reason that I should score 2-4 points lower than everyone else. What the fuck ever. I hate that shit when people sit on their glorious fucking 99 (including leaky smudgy ringed chocolate) and tell ME that grades don't matter. Bwaaa muhfucking haha. That's some funny ass shit. That's like a perfectly healthy marathon racer telling a LEUKEMIA patient, health doesn't matter.

BULL - FUCKIN - SHIT

That's hella fuckin hilarious almost. All this corny tacky shit with a bunch of yucky fucking frou frou piping got a better grade than mine. Well excuse the flambeed FUCK out of me if I have some semblance of taste. i mean fucking MAAK HUOP YEEEH mind...that's freaking afrikaanslish for open your fuckin mind...Excuse the fuck out of me for actually doin what I need to do and not snivelling about it. Let those bitches bake cakes. But they are gonna be in a world of hurt when it comes to design time. I already saw this one hoe looking at my thumbnails of my platings and I said straight up to her inverted grill -- I hate it when people copy my shit, it gets on my nerves and makes me hostile...at that point everyone left me alone. It's game on now. Hahahahha. They seem to forget I used to be the evil corporate project manager bitch. I've been riding cool, but now I'mma ride their asses. I ain't even hearing that shit.

Funny shit is - everyone got moved to different stations all throughout the class so it couldn't even be said that we were helping each other or whatever - coz its not. Fuck, I think i was like 2nd or 3rd done.

Whatever, I'm taking it next level. Game over you crackwhores.

So my phone is turned the fuck off and I'm gonna put on some tuPac and smoke a square...

*thpthhhhhhhhhh*

15 Oct 2004: Sweet Show

biscuit sponge for mousse cakes



Unsheathed...



encased then unsheathed...




charlotte royale bombe




charlotte russe

Those are the projects from this week. I'm tired as fuck of mousse

But everybody loves mousse. It's good to be evil...me and Jena are evil and we don't like people...tough shit if they don't like us they can kiss our big round asses...Class is getting more and more fun with every module. I look @ those green horns in basic baking and I can't believe I was one of them not 15 weeks ago. Imagine that.

I am so excited. Jenatick helped me pull the house together and we got in fucking kick ass mode last night and were battling like 2 kids for an EZ-bake oven for the laptop and when one is on the laptop the other is on the celly. bwaaaa hahhahaa. Imagine that. She's family, little fuqqa
.

Final today - I think it's kind of moot to make us do it over and over coz then it gets to that point that it's overdone. But fuck it I'll get through it and come home and be happy ---

My favourite normality is going to resume. He is with Monsieur Epademik l'Emcee Esquire...Have i mentioned I love those guys - they crack me up...I'll write about Epademik later...il est engenue...

Bye bye time to study