05 Jan 2007: Scorpions Rock...

Uh no they don't.

So I got an unexpected day off today. I'm so happy I did coz it gave me the chance to just enjoy the day. I got up early as usual like I do when I'm at Mr. Man's house since we have a semblance of routine now. Then I went to 5 & Diner and got myself a chicken fried steak breakfast and let the regulars chat me up. I did some writing and killed like 4 cups of coffee. Then I put the top down on Madge and went shopping then I just drove for like 45 minutes enjoying the sun and the wind. I also went to the carwash and detailed my whip (bebewhip?)...deflected some clown in an escalade...then ran around some more. Takin' care of my own little errands.

Today is the first day in 2 weeks (possibly more) that Julian and I have not spent together. What a peculiar admission. I'm a bit glad though - coz when he came over the other day my room was just a bomb of boots, shoes and clothing. Then he mentioned last night, it's funny now your joint is a mess and mine is clean. I LOOKED AT HIM...and he said coz you are here all the time...haahhaha. I just shook my head. Anyhow - I wanted to take this time to catch up on laundry and just weed out the clothes that I've outgrown stylistically or are just too big.

So I went through each section of the closet and started baggin' stuff up for donation...short sleeve, long sleeve, tanks, hoodies, even some shoes...soo I get to the back left of the closet and there are a handful of dresses and I start tossing them to the pile. I pull out this black wool sleeved joint and it looks like there is a piece of bark or something on it...So I give it a shake before I throw it on the bedpile and that piece of bark...Ain't Bark!

It was like a 4 inch scorpion plus tail

Yah you READ me - PLUUUUUS tail...

...hella gross. I was a little surprised at my own initial reaction. I didn't scream or yell. I just gasped as my leg lifted into the air and I stepped and dragged my sneaker across it. The oddest thing was that the tail didn't get smashed - it yanked off and even after the scorpion body was in smithereens - the tail moved and curled on it's own. So Yucky.

...I told my brother and he goes No Way - and laughs.

...I told my sister and she said HOW big - ew Scary.

...I told my boyfriend and he said are you Okay? Then laughed that I failed to scream but rather had a stronger will to live than the bug. I'm like how you gonna laugh? I could of been in the ER right NOW. He's like Yah right - like I said you're instinct for self preservation is really HIGH.

---

On a lighter note - I got the cutest pair of wedges. I'm gonna break the rules and rock them this winter with a white nylon fitted coat - WUT.

I've been so busy lately I haven't even had time to get any feet treats. Today was a great day - scorpion incident and ALL.

04 Jan 2007: Pushin' It...

The more I push...the more he pulled me closer. Even when we first met - I shook my head at him like Oh nu uh - no way. He said I was tryin' to play that I shook you away crap. But how is a woman to know that there are actually men out there who enjoy adversity and can see quality?

Yesterday I was just a sourpatch kid...Up at 7am and at work until almost 1o pm. After work I met up with Julian and Jay at their local sports bar. Oh you know what - I was just quiet and seemingly patient. It has to be understood that I'd been shuffling cold dead weight boards with cake on them pretty much all day and my shoulders were aching. So the car next to me starts honking that alarm honk. And why did Mr. Man run towards my car? So his boss cruises over LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF. He said "girl...you've got him - did you see that --- he heard that beep beep and ran over here like Yes Maam (salute motion) with his chest puffed out." I laughed and said," I didn't honk, that is IMPOLITE.I would never honk other than on the road" His boss was just crackin' up doin' this salute thing makin' whippin' noises. Silly men. Silly they may be they are still fun and full of positivity - how could you NOT enjoy being around them.

...I was quiet the whole way to his joint. Once we got there I couldn't figure out if I was hungry or parched. So I asked him,"should I throw some chicken and rice?" He looked at me like I was insane. I said "WUT?" He goes,"Do you really think you are cooking after the day you had? NO. I'm calling in dinner - decide what you want?" I decided I wasn't hungry so I had an orange and some popcorn and the dopest hand/shoulder rub EVER. And I didn't even have to ask.

...I never have to ask him for anything, he has quickly acquired presence in my life. It's strange to have nothing to complain about. It's odd to be around someone who makes things happen and with a smile on his face. It's a blessing to be invited on a journey with someone who is about true elevation and building on the foundation of SELF. He's clever but not obnoxious...athletic but not a knucklehead...ambitious but grounded in his upbringing...spiritual but tolerant and open minded. It's really odd to be with someone who is genuinely interested in conversation and better living. Time passes so quickly when we are together, it feels like 1 hug spans 20 minutes. Sometimes I purposefully act stubborn to test his reaction. Even Jay laughed and said NOW Girl - why you gonna do that - when you know he just likes to see that FIRE in you. Then they laugh and look at each other and nod. Ay Jeez.

He understands my reservations but he lacks insecurity.

...I'm held captive now. But it's okay.

Lucky me.

---

ps) Happy Birthday Rommel-Yo...

02 Jan 2007: Happy Always...

Happy Always...
Category: Blogging

The New Year came in with smiles and lots of laughter...Some Moet and whatnot make it just right...Great company and then I blearily passed out on Julian's lap on the sofa...Yesterday we made a New Year's Day Luncheon at Bree and James' house, for the obvious reason of being with friends but also because I think it's great for Julian to spend time with his godson...That child is not only gorgeous but so fun...

There is only one other child I've seen who sits perfectly still while watching martial arts flicks and that's MY godbaby Lyriccky....Simply amazing - he was just all relaxed and chilling with me. I got up to get him and Pucca and the baby got mad...when I came back on the sofa I sat left of Julian and he skittered across the sofa onto my lap. Julian told him,"You can't have her kid, she's mine." The baby looked up at him with mad face. Hahahhaha. We just laughed our asses off.

...first picture of the new year...

We spent the better time of the day bringing in the first day of the new year chatting and laughing and just having a relaxed happy day. Then en route home I suggested some dessert coz Julian had never been to the shop. Hahaha. I loved that look on his face when he first saw the case...he didn't even know what to get - but I knew he'd end up with his old standby. My next Gelato date is gonna be Wendy and Grime and/or Madden and Julian.

I have to say I'm hella excited about this new year. Too excited. Good start. Good people. Good times. Women are constantly going through rebirth and reinvention. That is, if they have the inner mettle. I just want to thank my friends who saw me through that rough patch at the end of last year. All of you know that it is my prideful nature that would never reach out and ask for help or support - yet you never made me ask, you all were simply there with open arms, kind words, positive encouragement and deep faith that I was too strong to let myself down. Thank you.

Everything is new again. Lucky Me...

26 Dec 2006: Under the Mistletoe...a bit.

...on bein' Under the Mistletoe...

We stayed up until 5am on Christmas Eve...Yappin, Drinkin', Playin XBox, laughin' and doin a little too much. Then Julian has the nerve to be in a happy mood and wake me up - haha. Seriously - I should have been up at about 9am...but I didn't even hop out of bed until 10ish. So I got the food on...I subtracted a few dishes since a few people didn't RSVP.

Jay and Julian were crackin' me up playin' Worst Case Scenario board game while I was throwin' stuff around the kitchen...

Thanks Keyla for wrappin up the wonton...and fryin' up the lumpia

Quite a bit of wine and beer got killed. Creamcheese shrimp wonton got killed. Food got killed. Everyone arrived around the same time and we just lingered talking and what not. Once the food was on...Grime was kind enough to carve the turkey and Julian carved the Roast -- Manly men huh. bwaa hahahhaha. Everyone assembled their plates while I assembled the leftover tupperwares...observe:

No one leaves this house without Leftovers. Ya Heard?

---

I have to say without exception - this was one of the best Christmas' ever. The mood was good, the conversation positive and the company the best. It was a bit strange without my brother or mom around, but strangely this felt like a really adult Christmas.

Thank you Wendy and Grime for my fabulous Jason Rudolph Pena apron. "coz I'm that kind of woman"

Thank you boys for such wonderful dinner conversation about music and the industry and for your hearty appetites...

...on Christmas Eve...

On Christmas Eve Julian gave me a gift. I don't know if I can accept such a gift...There's a lot of weight behind such a gift...

Sometimes the natural flow of things is almost surreal.

...on stress...

Video Conference calls overseas with Mom and Lola stress me out. How's she gonna drill me about gettin' a boyfriend coz it's practically 2007 - WUT!!!

22 Dec 2006: You are Lovely...

"Lovely...you are just lovely..." He says that often...not only with his mouth but moreso with his eyes. Tousled sheets...ruffled hair...ponytail askew...time flyin fast...and then it was morning. Even the heated lava from my temper cannot sway a man who is persistent, consistent and determined. How do you fight air when you breathe it. How do you fight water when you need it. How do you fight fire when it warms you. How do you fight the sun when it brightens you. How do you fight heaven when it haunts you. How do you fight possession when it owns you. Damn that. I have to admire his strength and the manner in which he embraces life. I have to admire that he starts and ends each day with a smile. I have to admire the mischief... Bwaa hahahahha

20 Dec 2006: Triathalon - Saucerina style...

So this is my version of triathalon...my work, my artistic pursuits and then there are romantic pursuits. I'm starting to feel like Alfie...as if 24 hours aren't enough for the day of a woman like me...as if 7 days a week just doesn't quite cut it for a woman like me. If I were given 1 more day a week and 1 more hour a day would I feel better? Probably not - I'd probably just end up doing too much like I am now.

...taken from Alfie's Blog...

"saudade" is a portueguese word that is difficult to explain. so let me wikipedia it for you...

"The famous saudade of the Portuguese is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness but an indolent dreaming wistfulness."

...on faraway places...

I can totally feel them calling. I'm looking at my travelling trunk and leather carry on bag with an angry determination. I need to touch other concrete. I need to hear the lull of foreign tongues. I need to walk out of darkness into brightly lit cities that bristle with movement. I need to hear the click of my kitten heels on pavement while I nibble on a pastry. I need to take a 16 hour flight to somewhere and just curl up in a ball in business class and drink way too much until i knock out. I need to go where no one knows me --- at least for a little while.

...on homesick...

I wanna be in San Francisco to see the lights.I wanna see scarved and jacketed throngs walking in that city pace. I miss my family. I miss real dim sum. And now Wendy went home to the Yay for a little bit. So all of my girls are home and I'm here. I miss my family too and wouldn't mind a trip to Haystack. But I'm so pressed for time. J****** asked me this morning,"you okay?" I said,"Yah, I'm good." He said,"what's up..." I told him,"WL is going home today - so that's all 3 of my girls who are home and I'm not...except Monica she's in Tokyo somewhere...." He smoothed my hair down and said,"Just call me if you need a friend...I'm here if you need someone..." I didn't say a word.

...on cakes...

I have a crazy rhythm...like god of cookery kung fu rhythm - sometimes I kind of scare myself but I like it...

...on marathon dates...

I don't even know where to start. You want the dirty details but I'll never tell... I was with him last Thursday and last Saturday...then he came over on Sunday and stayed...and he lingered through toussled sheets Monday night. Last night we watched a movie at his crib and when I fell asleep he shut everything down --- I woke up with a startle around 2am and said,"I should go home..." He shook his head and murmured,"Nnnh Nnnh..." I asked,"are you saying don't go..." He said,"Don't go...stay..." So I did.

Does quantity of time spent equivocate quality? In this case yes. How can his smile hold so constant? How can ONE person hold such determination in all aspects of everything? How can his passions be void of anger? My passions are tinged with retaliation and revenge. I said something fucked up before I left and all he did was pull me close and say,"...Do me a favor..." I said,"Hmmn?" He continued,"On this journey that we are taking, think WITH me - not FOR me." I just nodded and said okay. I let myself out into the dark morning light and 37 degree weather.

Such goodness kind of gives me sadness...

It was a long drive home alone with my thoughts.

...on the other nonstop...

They are still coming at me...from all angles...it's not really that funny anymore. But you know...it is what it is. Once I set myself free I put myself in the craziest jungle of all. The dating jungle. I suppose other women would be happy with all this attention, scrambling, winking, puffing up, calling, last minute texts of desperation and panic, cool talk and hot looks, homie versus homie to get "the sauce," plus posturing and all that to get my attention. But do you know what it's like to go through it? I hope you never do. It's like finding a needle in a haystack with butter covered hands...with no soap and water in sight for miles and miles.

I'll just continue to dream with my eyes open.

17 Dec 2006: Kinna...

...Kinna Bomblette...

Same premise on the Bomblettes...

I slice up the stuff - and you call what you want on it. I made Grimey French Toast (a must have)...roasted potatoes with bellpepper and garlic and a bit of smoked turkey...and at the last minute I threw in a salsa and green onion quesadilla. Everyone was happy with it...But my friends are not those who complain. A few people didn't make it coz we did a last minute location change and some people were just too busy. It's okay this is a repeat brunch...so no worries.

Sorry April - I threw the Anti You Bomblette in the trash - it looked weird.

I'm also starting to schedule other foodie gigs so stay posted...

Hey Wendy, what's with all the brown folks in your kitchen!

---

We all sat around for the greater part of the afternoon - and Mateo even came by - he's quite the character and way too fun.

...Kinna Weird...

I really don't know what to make of all these choices that are constantly being presented in front of me. I really don't know why so many choices are being allotted to me. I really don't know why my life seems to have a gravitational pull of it's own. I really don't know why kisses burn and confessions of emotion almost hurt. I really don't know why this is becoming a situation of hilarity. I shouldn't laugh. But I can't help it.

...Kinna Scary...

I don't like it when people ask me if I'm "Saucy from Myspace..." Some people do it and it's cool, some people do it and it's not so cool. Also, the last few times I'm out, people have called that they've seen me here or there and they mention what I was wearing or what I was doing - and oh maybe they should have talked to me more. ??? I dunno. Funny thing is I didn't even go out that much this week coz someone has managed to get a bit of my time. "But when you like someone you make time..." He's right. It is only what it is...

...Kinna Dope...

So after a restless night of sleep and cooking all day, I was off again.

UM threw this jazz fusion thing of local artists at the Loft tonight. It was amazing to see genuine jamming on that level. It's great to hear all that energy swirling from people who usually don't play on that scheme. The crowd was in a fabulous mood and it was all movement and smiles and grins. It ended up just being Mateo and I convoying over there coz Wendy had stuff to handle at home. I miss my WL when I'm not with her.

I ran into Jules - who gave me a hug and I said take a picture with me fool since I never see you. He had paint on his hands and all. The last time I saw this guy he was tellin' me I made the taco meat too hot and to put some celery in it. You are fired for that Jules - but you are still the painterly homie - Otay?

I also ran into Joe whom I met from Diosa. Everytime I see that dude I get confused - coz he really changes his look up. I like how he really gets involved in conversations and pays deep attention and what he retorts is sensical and smiling. I like conversational people. They are rare.

At least people who have good shit to say.

Girls - I told you don't make eye contact with those dudes. Making eye contact is the kiss of death...

Just do like me and straight ignore them. Just throw a look of disgust and turn your entire body away before he can even finish the sentence.

...Kinna Sleepy...

I'm off to bed now. Tomorrow is a slumber party - and I think I'm actually gonna sleep for once. . Maybe.