She Chef..Cookin Up Words and Wonders...: 27 Sept 2004: Knocker Dough

Knocker Dough, Love that Hoe
my dough came out so ree ree
i was supposed to laminate it
and make sure the layers come out even
but i guess i didn't brush enough flour out
so then the muhfyookah ballooned

Basically, my dough puffed up like big ass knockers
albeit a bit lopsided, it still came up knockers...
People were lookin at my dough like WTF ees dat!!!
I looked over @ Jena and her eyes were tearing up
then i looked at the dough thing and I swear it got
even bigger --- then Katie is like put nipples on it.

bwaaaaaaa hahahha
I'm glad my dough blew up
coz we all needed a laugh.

-----------------------------------------

It had been a week of croissant and danish and all
kinds of yummy evil buttery things...and i prolly put
a little more chunk in my trunk but who cares that's
just more for nuSun to spank right. **evil twinkle**

I am a bit reticent about my grades and shit since I had
such a rough time getting on with my previous chef, so when
grade time comes I don't really expect much. Last week most
of our cakes and such came out raw so we all hovered between
88 to 92 gradewise. I'm becoming overly critical of my own shit.
So when grade time came this week...i was being graded second
from the last. i turned it all in on time. Within 3 hours:

4 plain croissant
4 filled croissant
6 sticky buns
6 cinnamon rolls
4 classic danish - filled, glazed, iced
4 spectacle danish - filled, glazed, iced

6 buttermilk biscuits - flaky, extra credit

all pastry must be equal in weight, when weight against like items
all pastry must be within a quarter oz of 2 ozs
all excess dough will be weighed and no more than 16oz (1lb)
all untouched dough must be presented
all additional pastry that has been baked off must be showed

When Chef S-------- called 2 minutes I felt like my heart had
flown straight out of my ass and i grabbed my towel and polished
down my station. Good god, count the pieces, check the waste,
check out the competition, check my products are they all uniform.
1 minute she screamed - okay the remnants of my heart were now
flying out of my ass...okay everything checked. Then she gave a quick
reprieve from impending death - okay I will give you all an additional
5 minutes. I could see people pulling things out of the stove still -
beatiffic buddha why were they running later than me and i'd baked off
twice as much to ensure that i had my pick of pastries...

Chef S-------- went down the list and said this that this that this that...
I agreed with her criticisms and was shocked at her generous compliments.
So at the end of the test she said add these numbers - i said okay 81, so
here i was thinking I had a B...THEN she said now divide that by 75...oh lawd.
i got a 108î.goodness. I gasped rather audibly. Keezie was so happy for
me he said finally you got a grade you deserve...and Jena gave me a hug...

Kick ass huh. funny.
The night went well for me
but others languished because
their ass kissing skills are wasted.

sample shit: