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Sunday, January 16, 2005

15 Jan 2005: Chocolattierage & Resentments

We began chocolate showpieces and candymaking... I was rather irate to receive a grade of 89...the photos below will quickly show why. I take great pride in making pieces that are not only delicious but also smashingly original...I'm not prone to following everyone's preferred designs or style and that's glaringly obvious. However, with only 2 weeks left, what can I do but bite down on my lip and finish this shit. Also, when I see people with mediocre or predictable pieces scoring higher than me it makes me want to wrench off my low rise bikini bottoms and SHOVE THEM DOWN THEIR THROATS. Punishment is quick for the original, even when the punishment isn't malicious. Between work and school and my eczema flare ups I'm not such a kewl kitten lately. Frankly, I'm baffled that n.... is putting up with my shit and doing it with such kindness and patience and love.

Welcome to the Chocolat Show... Chocolate Presented for Grading...mind you, chef told me that my presentation as usual was perfect and still I got no additional points:

The infamous chocolat box. Required criteria on the final. I chose to do a round box complete with feet, clasp, top & filigree lettering in Love...I also did a little homage to jackson pollock (hopefully the muhfuckka ain't rollin in his grave) The box is level and all people who saw it could tell. Chef went so far as to say it was amazingly cute and indicative of my constant originality and creativity. However because it wasn't tempered enough - she had no choice but to reduce my points. Good Gawd...then she told me not to beat myself up over it...Bwaaa hahahhaha. If anyone is beating me up I will beat ME up...

hazelnut bombs: caramel dipped roasted hazelnuts, complete with a chocolate dipping and one dragee atop the whole thing...deemed to big to be a candy - bwaaa hahahhahhahha.

white choc amaretto truffles...also deemed to large - but everyone killed these - bwaaa hahahahha

English Toffee with chocolate dip: these are akin to but like almond roca. The difference with english toffee is that although you can crack it with a hammer - it melts in your mouth like soft caramel - hella evil but beyond good...

Cafe Choooocolate: Dark chocolate filled with a creamy chocolate and kahlua cream...These are my fave but they gross some people out coz I put a real coffee bean on top. Bwaaa hahahha

Other things I've made and not photographed:

Toasted Macadamia Bark

White Chocolate and Lemon Truffles with Candied Lemon Peel

Random Caramels not pretty enough to pass forward.

nuSun and the blunt club posse had big fun eating my test candies. Shiloh begged me not to bring anymore home. I like to eat just plain nibs or bitters - but I'm a freak - don't bother me.

ps) if you have any chocolate suggestions please hit me with a note.

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