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Monday, December 6, 2004

06 Dec 2004: Entry 143





How befitting is this...that once allowed to pick any holiday at all I would pick valentines and ahhh ohhh don't blame a girl who's heart bleeds chocolate. bwaaa hahaha


bogey and bacall

I named it thus because it is a miniature chocolate torte topped with fresh berries and the most exquisite smattering of powdered sugar - bittersweet but a perfect pair. Clearly this was chefs favourite. Yes that's a love cookie don't hate. haha

heart puffs filled with diplomat cream. Diplomat cream is awesome, I love it - it's airy and friendly to the palate it doesn't lollagag around your throat the way pastry cream does. Most people like pastry cream better coz it's more rich - more custard...I like the hint of custard more than anything else. So yah this is a heart on a heart with cream and then a slivered berry on it. It's leaning towards sickeningly kyoote - but I like the flavour of this.


towering hearts filled with cream



This job is my favourite - staggered heart cut outs from puff pastry...crunch yet the center is filled with a light diplomat cream that you can dip the hearts in. yet on the side I put a chocolate touch...2 bebe hearts bleeding with chocolate...chef said this was heavy - but this was the crowd pleaser - especially topped with that 10 inch piece of sugar i made. A lot of folks who saw this little tower really dug it..in a real restaurant setting I would probably make it 3 high with 1 bleeding heart, but for school i maxed it.

N.... loved eating this monster, he's like oh bae this is yum *insert nodding and grinning and chewing and digging in pastry box for more!!!*...he gave me the most sincere look and said you haven't failed me yet and I know you never will. LMFAO...



Apple Towers


This is just a basic piece to show off macadamia nuts dipped in caramel. I made a phyllo apple/pear streudel cut it bias on a few pieces and then set them up like towers - positioned 3 macadamias with sugar strands. and then placed creme anglaise and a streudel white wine sauce i made. After removing the apple and pear from the sauce - i added about 8 oz of white wine to the sauce and reduced it. Once it reduced I threw in a handful of sugar and stirred until it was plating consistency. That was the yummiest part of this dish. Phyllo streudel just reminds me of lumpia on steroids. hahaha. N..... ate this thing like he hadn't eaten in days - well he had been at the club and don't get me started on the chocolate pockets I made. Hhahaha he ate those like an ethiopian in the back of a red cross truck. bwaaa hahaha.


I have one last set of plate photos coming and then i'm onto making candy and wedding cakes. All that jazz and all that good stuff. bwaaa hahaha - money makers that's what they are about. only 6 more school weeks and then I am done and stuff. I'm sniffing around for externships. Imagine that. It's gone by so quick - I only wish that I could take some more bread classes. It seemed that segment went by hella quick and Chef G hella made me hate bread...I also have sugar pulling and chocolate design left. exciting but nerve wracking...bleh.

Meanwhile I lucked out and I'm surrounded by some real true type friends and a fella that loves me like baNOODLES...can life be any better...blessings rain on us despite our challenges yanno!!!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

28 Nov 2004: Plating not Hating

I am now in Baking 211. Plating and Design Principles



Mad about Mango: Mango Flan with a creme anglaise and a Mango Sauce with Green Tea Infusion. I made some caramel pieces and for crunch I made a whiskey sesame tuile. Chef didn't really dig it coz I let the flan steam a bit long but overall it's a creamy job.


Chocolate Torte.




Fabulous and Flourless...only a real chocolate junkie could have love for this piece. I love keeping things monochrome it always seems to bring out the best in my work. Chef has alluded that I will be able to make trademark and seductive desserts. Nice


IT always seems when I love the design she hates it - so I feign ambivalence about all of my work. I've also stopped drawing plate designs coz in the past when I've designed plates on paper - they have shown up on other peoples plates - there is no integrity so I'm only freestyling...

Sunday, October 24, 2004

24 Oct 2004: I got you Muh'fuQQa

I got you Muhfukka...
I know what you want
before you want it
I have what you need
before you remember to need
I hold what you fiend for
And believe me you are always fiending
Do I not feed your hungers
In your heart
In your mind
In your soul
Last of all did I not feed your belly
All those morsels
I made for you
to feed your eyes
to scent your nose
to make your belly happy
But I ain't mad
You keep me on my toes
And are my living reminder
To eat faces and Kick ass
All Day all night
You remind me
That i'm Someone
u got ME muhfukka....
you got me
I know what you want

24 Oct 2004: The Latest sweetest Things



chocolate vanilla bavarian (mousse cake)

That was my final and I got an A...I was pretty confident that I was gonna get that A only just because we practiced the damn thing like 4 x. but you know shit - I was really shooting for a 97 so I was disappointed that I only got a 95. Oh damn well, what can I do. Just keep pluggin on and begrudgingly accept the damn A's I get...

That cake is damn good - coz the vanilla mousse and chocolate mousse are separated by a thin layer of chocolate biscuit cake. It borders bitter but the cream levels it out.




It's been such a fun ass week. Just catching up and hanging out and he's met all the girls and stuff --- so while I'm in class he holes up in the rapper holdout with full access to the internet and phone while I kick 5 or so hours @ school. LOL...that way I don't have to drive all the way home things being how late it is. LOL.
It's so funny --- it's like we have not been apart for 6 weeks. It's like from minute one in Palm Springs we've just been blah blah blah churr churr churr yada yada yada...He loves the desert as much as the desert loves him and it's strange but he just seems to fit into all this sun and pavement. We went to one gig and then he touched base and now he's got 2 shows. So next week we got 2 things to hit...
I can't complain about one damn thing.
He met dad - thumbs up.
He met kuya - thumbs up.
He met Katie and Kae - thumbs up.
He met Jenatick - thumbs up.
Hahaha many many of the white girls seem to like him. If they only knew they are the wrong side of baked. This one Asian girl at the club was eye-in' him like Polka Kielbasa in the grocers freezer. That's some mad funny shit - coz I don't even think her outfit cost as much as my caramel coloured stilletto boots. It was most funny. So now life resumes - and he tells me, " you are one weird girl...and I'm glad you're mine..." I said, " why is that..." He laughed and said," coz I'll never be bored for the rest of my life..." Imagine that...
Alfie sent me a comment sayin, " this is the kyootest pic ever..." the best part of it is that the one she picked is the one that is my favourite. Artists share the same vision...It's amazing how happy we look - but more amazing than that is how happy we are...we move in tandem and still finish each others sentences - even though he is getting more comfortable being my best friend and talkin shit to me.

Not so Minty Fresh Muhfukka...
He's talkin' about stayin...
I can't imagine a day without him

23 Nov 2004: Artistic Integrity

I doubt that it exists...okay except like epademic emcee esq, Alfie, Kenya...and a handful of handfuls...but in Le Cordon Bleu - i doubt that it exists...I see people sniffing around and sizing up competition...I see them trying to glean ideas - as it was in art school it is now - i keep my lip buttoned and my sketches at home.

Classic mini flan...just with a berry, anglaise and chocolate sauce
Cinammon creme brulee with touches of caramel and anglaise...

Blech i wasn't really feeling the plating but i got it done



This is my Peppermint Patty...White chocolate mousse with peppermint sprinkles and a chocolate peppermint sauce. Yeahhh I made those funky cookie leaves and chocolate pieces.... Tan Ta Naan Tan Tan...ladies and gentleman - the dream dream dream da dream...ladies and gentleman...




This is my Chocolade Bebecake...4 layers of chocolate cake with chocolate filling with a chocolate envelope, chocolate pieces and chocolate sauce...feed your PMS that beeyotch. hahahaha. I love this piece...Chef didn't have one bad thing to say about it...


I'm just getting over a cold so forgive my lack of exuberance...Also, everyone in class has taken to the most annoying whistle bullshit...It's actually rather hilarious - the subtle cries of attention that people need...fortunately I was paid enough attention in childhood and my boyfriend is a little OVERattentive - but better to be exhausted and happy than to do annoying shit to get attention. A lot of stuff I seem to see lately borders on hokey...but I guess not everyone mom got them a subscription to W and Vogue at age 12...

Saturday, October 16, 2004

16 Oct 2004: Krucified

You know what you get for originality and drive? You get fucking crucified. I got this treatment in Beginning Baking. I got straight hated on. Two of us would turn in the same exact product and I would get like 2-4 points lower than the other girl. Frankly I won't put up with this shit...I'll switch to another time module. I will not be graded unfairly. First of all, let me say --- good for them they got a hella good grade. Second of all, let me say --- I do not deserve a lower grade than anyone else, not when my station is always tv ready and my products are photo ready. I stayed on top of my shit and I was ready to dress the plate with 8 thumbnails of potential platings. Thirdly, look at the pics below, they speak for themselves.



You know what you get for originality and drive? You get fucking crucified. I got this treatment in Beginning Baking. I got straight hated on. Two of us would turn in the same exact product and I would get like 2-4 points lower than the other girl. Frankly I won't put up with this shit...I'll switch to another time module. I will not be graded unfairly. First of all, let me say --- good for them they got a hella good grade. Second of all, let me say --- I do not deserve a lower grade than anyone else, not when my station is always tv ready and my products are photo ready. I stayed on top of my shit and I was ready to dress the plate with 8 thumbnails of potential platings. Thirdly, look at the pics below, they speak for themselves.

I did an 8 inch round for the charlotte russe. Lady fingers all the way around and a cocentric circle base. Not a DROP of that bavarian mousse dripped. My lady finger fence closed all the way around and I had NIL seepage...I also made sure that i piped and baked off those circles and separated fingers...to ensure the design was uniform with the cake so the top indicates what type of cake it is and the mousse stayed smooth and unPUTRIFIED by a bunch of bullshit plating. I threw it off the plate too quickly since I was disgusted with it, but I had the plate zigzagged with creme Anglaise and a smattering of pistachio - that lovely fucking hydrangea green looked smashing against the mousse. Observe on the top of the cake I sliced one lady finger vertically just to prove my knife skills are neat and clean...

Notice the balance...It is neither overdone nor underdone...the white corners of whipped cream is only for accent and to seal the corners...Notice how shiny that plate is...I did everything but rub it on my fucking KNOCKERS. Notice that there is both subtlety and balance. However I was reprimanded for hitting the roulade with the brown part out. Whatever. that pale spongy inside is ugly, without contrast it all looked kaka, so I reversed it...also, everyone did theirs in little domes. I did mine in the cylinders so it was all okay closed tight and cinched right...Of course I got reprimanded for 2 spots of seepage.

So in the end. What is my grade. I got a 95. I looked around the room. I saw runny chocolate. I saw drippy sloppy slutty leaky preserves. I saw corny ass fucking curlicues and rosettes. 90 percent of the class didn't even sauce. I had my sauce chilling in a mini bucket before the cake was even locking in the blast freezer. I had glaze going while my plates were resting. So I got 4 points here and there due to little knocks to my score. I was bitching in the hallway to nuSun and I know chef heard and I really don't give a shit. Coz I'll straight switch to the mid day class. I don't much give a shit, but I know this. I finished my shit 8pm. I started at 6:15. I knocked out 1 large cake and 4 small cakes in less than 2 hours. With a cleaner station. With cleaner slices. With advanced preparation for plate dressings and without wasting any shit. So how is it that the others scores 2 or 3 points higher than me.

Only St Michael knows. You know how he knows. Coz he's the patron saint of bakers that's how.

Then one of those girls tried to give me a hug. She got 2 points higher than me and her shit was sliced all fat like beat up pussy. Then of ALL fucking people...Jena told me well girl it doesn't matter once you get out of school...no one looks at your grade. I said it's not just the grade Jena, it's the principal of the matter. My shit was hammered out quick and on point tonight - there is no god damn reason that I should score 2-4 points lower than everyone else. What the fuck ever. I hate that shit when people sit on their glorious fucking 99 (including leaky smudgy ringed chocolate) and tell ME that grades don't matter. Bwaaa muhfucking haha. That's some funny ass shit. That's like a perfectly healthy marathon racer telling a LEUKEMIA patient, health doesn't matter.

BULL - FUCKIN - SHIT

That's hella fuckin hilarious almost. All this corny tacky shit with a bunch of yucky fucking frou frou piping got a better grade than mine. Well excuse the flambeed FUCK out of me if I have some semblance of taste. i mean fucking MAAK HUOP YEEEH mind...that's freaking afrikaanslish for open your fuckin mind...Excuse the fuck out of me for actually doin what I need to do and not snivelling about it. Let those bitches bake cakes. But they are gonna be in a world of hurt when it comes to design time. I already saw this one hoe looking at my thumbnails of my platings and I said straight up to her inverted grill -- I hate it when people copy my shit, it gets on my nerves and makes me hostile...at that point everyone left me alone. It's game on now. Hahahahha. They seem to forget I used to be the evil corporate project manager bitch. I've been riding cool, but now I'mma ride their asses. I ain't even hearing that shit.

Funny shit is - everyone got moved to different stations all throughout the class so it couldn't even be said that we were helping each other or whatever - coz its not. Fuck, I think i was like 2nd or 3rd done.

Whatever, I'm taking it next level. Game over you crackwhores.

So my phone is turned the fuck off and I'm gonna put on some tuPac and smoke a square...

*thpthhhhhhhhhh*

Friday, October 15, 2004

15 Oct 2004: Sweet Show

biscuit sponge for mousse cakes



Unsheathed...



encased then unsheathed...




charlotte royale bombe




charlotte russe



Those are the projects from this week. I'm tired as fuck of mousse
But everybody loves mousse. It's good to be evil...me and Jena are evil and we don't like people...tough shit if they don't like us they can kiss our big round asses...Class is getting more and more fun with every module. I look @ those green horns in basic baking and I can't believe I was one of them not 15 weeks ago. Imagine that.

I am so excited. Jenatick helped me pull the house together and we got in fucking kick ass mode last night and were battling like 2 kids for an EZ-bake oven for the laptop and when one is on the laptop the other is on the celly. bwaaaa hahhahaa. Imagine that. She's family, little fuqqa
.
Final today - I think it's kind of moot to make us do it over and over coz then it gets to that point that it's overdone. But fuck it I'll get through it and come home and be happy ---

My favourite normality is going to resume. He is with Monsieur Epademik l'Emcee Esquire...Have i mentioned I love those guys - they crack me up...I'll write about Epademik later...il est engenue...
Bye bye time to study

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

12 Oct 2004: sigh...Practical Exams






i got an A today...even though my chantilly fell 3 times...fortunately for me - including extra credit - I managed an A...94.333. The Gateau Honore...I think we overdid it. Chef Chesnay the french homme homie will be demonstrating the Charlotte Russe et Charlotte Royal. Tot tarde ici...i should go to bed and just dream au amour --- My eyes are fried...I've been working and reworking a painting that I have to send to calie within 2 days. It's driving me insane coz I want it to have a certain vibe and it's for one of the bebe dirty yoga queenz so it's gotta look right. I'm gonna call it a night and just knock out...I will post pics of it tomorrow - for now my eyes need to rest. I have to be a superstar in class, and then I have my personal projects. It seems like I have so many errands to do tomorrow on top of the regular stuff - mebbe one of my chef girls will drive instead of me and I can just close my eyes while the infernal sun fries my head. BLEH. I'm so lucky I can just be myself and I don't have to run around the house and do whatever...I don't have to impress him, he likes me how I am yanno... so tired now...eyes fried... night night

12 Oct 2004: Gateau St. Honore




Aiiiish...Gateau Gateau Gateau


Pretty isn't it. well you know what it aint nuthing but caramel lego-ed cream puffs with a puff pastry base. Whip Cream mixed with freakin pastry cream and some sugar nests. but it does taste good...hella good...It's funny. It is a french desert done two ways - the american way and the french way. Either way it tastes good so who cares. This is the funny thing about gateau st honore...done the french way the icing should be pastry cream whipped with meringue..that's raw egg whites for those of you who aren't quite in the know. yah yah it's raw so what. Personally I don't really give a shit if it's raw. I mean the first Caesar Salad I ever had they used to make the dressing at the table and I would always say more egg more garlic..i knew i was eating raw shit...but apparently in this more and more homogenized world we live in -- everyone wants there shit pasteurized and sanitized. Where is the fucking FUN in that. no risk no rush.

Eggs come out the shell. Did y'all know that shit. You can buy a carton of egg whites or a carton of egg yolks PASTEURIZED. you can buy egg whites by the bucket, or egg yolks or a mixed ratio for a higher price. I'm so confused by that. Part of the romance for me in cooking is touching everything I use (despite my vicious allergies to bread flour)...even though i hate the scent of refined sugar I still love to use it...touch it...know the differences in texture. pasteurized egg. Phtoooey I say.

Everyone wants everything so clean, so sanitized, so unavoidably dangerous. But everything is dangerous. I've had mild food poisoning countless times. I can feel it - a dangerous head throbbing, my stomach dropping out and then impending vomit. My body reacts quick to bad food or poorly prepared seafood. And still I persist, I keep on and I continue...People say don't eat this and don't eat that. Fuck that - I'm human and even if I don't want to eat it, it's my duty to try it - i gotta stretch my palate. If you cook the life out of something to avoid potential harm - don't you also kill most of it's flavor...If something is processed and over processed doesn't that kill it's personality. I know when I get that pastry gig in the somewhere I'll prepare it the american way...but in homage to le cordon bleu I will learn the french standard -- it's only proper.
Don't tell anyone - but i like the taste of cream better than meringue.

School is hard,distance is shortening and I have the support of our REAL time friends...which is some good shit - coz I am showered with blessings and very little hate. And for those that hate - i pity your little spirits. and i'm sorry your hearts are dull - but it ain't my fault.

Been workin on a painting. Thank Buddha the nights are cold and it will set soon enough...On time even. I love realtime. I love being with someone that encourages my madness. My old lives are so far away...even if i hear glimmers of bullshit, I don't take the bait, coz my happiness won't be tainted yanno.

Wednesday, October 6, 2004



This is how we do it.


That right there is a clafouti. It is a pate sucre tart (akin to a dull sugar cookie crust) then filled with a few berries then covered with a beurre noisette (browned butter) batter. It's really just a dressed up madeleine with some fruit inside. The side is creme anglaise with some chocolate and whiskey drops. That is how I chose to do my design, considering the sauces had little to no time to set - I had to fatten it up a bit, but I did what I could...I really enjoyed watching Snatch 1 and Snatch 2 struggling. Just working and working and overworking their bullshit.

Well you know what you trifling hoes - nothing will ever change the fact that the only taste you have is in ur got Damn mouths. If it isn't obvious - know this. I am FED the flambee up. First of all, why are they so lazy and hold up the class and when it's clean up time they take their slothy asses straight to catering, however...when it's time to switch up kitchen managing duties --- they don't do jack shit, they just sit on their asses while everyone does work. This is the thing - J--- and I are always about an hour ahead of everyone so we manage all the sous chef duties and the chef demo areas so that we are ahead for the night. Also, J & I pretty much float at the top of the class - so it can't be said that we are laggers despite the extra load...well first of all, we don't get ahead so we have to pick up their slack. second of all, don't hate on us coz we are on top of our shit...third of all, you're pastries suck big hairy donkey balls coz you don't give a shit about your culinary integrity. Well that's all well and good you can suck all the nuts you want but not on my time.

Well tonight - we were a good 4 paces ahead of everyone and actually helping the rest of our slot with their fruit and splitting out our custard to make the work go quicker. So why is it that 11pm rolled around and there was half the work undone. So about 6 of us pulled it together and cleaned our half of the room, plus chefs, plus prepped the demo for tomorrow --- so how is it that the 3 of us who work the hardest end up with the shittiest kitchen jobs which are deck brushing and mopping. I said, haha oh it's like that huh --- okay. I told that feather sporting trick,"I feel you now. I said now you're gonna see me kick ALL my projects up another notch...keep up hag - coz now ur gonna be 90 minutes behind me instead of half an hour...good luck keeping up." She's like what? I said take your ass somewhere I have shit to do, coz I've been doin your job all night. Then her little sidekick came up to me and said...um ah um ah...I'm like take that bullshit somewhere until you can speak in full sentences off the short bus, you made it to the bottom of my priority list.


The night passed and work went on. I laughed all the way to the parking garage and said y'all pastry pimps ain't seen shit. I said, you haven't seen the likes of Vindictive Grade Scheming until you see me. I'm gonna make those hoes sweat. I'mma handle this at the oven. I've been team playing for 15 weeks. I've bailed hella people out of shit. I've been bailed out of shit lilke 3 times. That's why we are a team - i don't wanna see people burned, or hurt or out of hand on 300 degree sugar - but when someone deals me the bullshit end of a tasklist - it's on like mario brothers after a fat spicy blunt. This is the other thing that is on my nerves - those 2 work the LEAST --- yet they complain the most, they do nothing but bitch and whine and woo woo woo...well the last time I looked their baby motel asses were 10 years younger than me - so they should move with more spring in they asses. **rolls eyes** They can't even claim divastatic - coz their products aren't that good, in taste or appearance.

Frankly it's pretty obvious that they are just milking whatever scholarships to avoid the real world - I mean buddha forbid someone actually eat their shit. Oh and that inbred looking beeyotch T----, she swears up and down to all the gods and demons that DESIGN is her forte. That she loves to design and blah blah this and blah blah that. Well if she loves to design then she should stop stealing OTHER PEOPLES SHIT...i have yet to see ONE fuckin original idea come out of her head. I don't know what flavor crack she ate the day she registered...but uh, someone should have let her know that before you even get to touch the sugar and chocolat and plate dressings - you gotta be the pastry cream slave or the tart concubine. No one's ass is dipped in caramel that you are gonna get rock star status from the get go. I have YET to see that trick pipe on clean chocolate line, or even slice fruit with a clean knife. And don't even get me started on that fruit stealing shit eater...

J----- can kiss my brown ass all the way to her Navajo tribe.
So having said all that...it's game on. I'm upping the standard in design, production and taste. I'll hit you where it hurts. I'll hit you in a spot where you can't reach me. We've been pacing ourselves just a touch ahead so we can grab coffees @ that kiosk or tug on a square - but those days are done. It's Saucy Time...Let it be known that when all this smoke clears - that no one did it to them but themselves.

So we made some bread pudding...ours is chocolate pecan

Again we made flan aka creme caramel.


I love the scent of creme caramel, it just smells so damn good to me. As you can tell by the photo ours was sampled quite a bit. Chef called our joint "exquisite" I split the take with Jena and brought it home to my bro - and all he said was WORD!!! Funny Roe is saying more and more hip hop shit lately. I'm glad his assclown friend left this house - racist fucka - more on that later.
Either you have taste, or you do not. I am not an elitist by any means but when it comes to seductions of the eye and seductions of the mouth there is a fine line between overdone and done. If I have to dole out ONE more fucking ass whipping - I'm going to start charging admission and shit. On the flip side, Keezie makes the most fabulous roses fashioned out of strawberries. He taught me how today but i haven't tried it yet...but they are beyond pretty AND edible.

I lost my temper today and got LIVID, even before school started and shit...my anger is as bitter as my love is sweet. I am very much about the preservation of respect and when I get torqued about something I speak on it. I will no longer hold onto bullshit and let things get rancid inside of my heart. I was impolite in hanging up twice and apologized very shortly after...manners are what separate us from animals and I should have let the man speak. As quickly as my fury came it went. Funny I could feel panic in my soul but it wasn't mine. I've faced that demon called solitude and I'm not scared of that muthuhfucka - I know him like I know my right hand.

Trouble was in the air tonight. So many people were hella perved everywhere I looked. I'm glad the day is done. And I came out unscathed, my heart is whole, my spirit is swole, my love is bound, my pastry pimpin is sound, my path is in front of me and it's dope that it wraps around a lot of people i really like and respect, most of all i have hella people I can trust...

6 Oct 2004: game over HaterZ

This is how we do it.



That right there is a clafouti. It is a pate sucre tart (akin to a dull sugar cookie crust) then filled with a few berries then covered with a beurre noisette (browned butter) batter. It's really just a dressed up madeleine with some fruit inside. The side is creme anglaise with some chocolate and whiskey drops. That is how I chose to do my design, considering the sauces had little to no time to set - I had to fatten it up a bit, but I did what I could...I really enjoyed watching Snatch 1 and Snatch 2 struggling. Just working and working and overworking their bullshit. Well you know what you trifling hoes - nothing will ever change the fact that the only taste you have is in ur got Damn mouths. If it isn't obvious - know this. I am FED the flambee up. First of all, why are they so lazy and hold up the class and when it's clean up time they take their slothy asses straight to catering, however...when it's time to switch up kitchen managing duties --- they don't do jack shit, they just sit on their asses while everyone does work. This is the thing - J--- and I are always about an hour ahead of everyone so we manage all the sous chef duties and the chef demo areas so that we are ahead for the night. Also, J & I pretty much float at the top of the class - so it can't be said that we are laggers despite the extra load...well first of all, we don't get ahead so we have to pick up their slack. second of all, don't hate on us coz we are on top of our shit...third of all, you're pastries suck big hairy donkey balls coz you don't give a shit about your culinary integrity. Well that's all well and good you can suck all the nuts you want but not on my time.
Well tonight - we were a good 4 paces ahead of everyone and actually helping the rest of our slot with their fruit and splitting out our custard to make the work go quicker. So why is it that 11pm rolled around and there was half the work undone. So about 6 of us pulled it together and cleaned our half of the room, plus chefs, plus prepped the demo for tomorrow --- so how is it that the 3 of us who work the hardest end up with the shittiest kitchen jobs which are deck brushing and mopping. I said, haha oh it's like that huh --- okay. I told that feather sporting trick,"I feel you now. I said now you're gonna see me kick ALL my projects up another notch...keep up hag - coz now ur gonna be 90 minutes behind me instead of half an hour...good luck keeping up." She's like what? I said take your ass somewhere I have shit to do, coz I've been doin your job all night. Then her little sidekick came up to me and said...um ah um ah...I'm like take that bullshit somewhere until you can speak in full sentences off the short bus, you made it to the bottom of my priority list.
The night passed and work went on. I laughed all the way to the parking garage and said y'all pastry pimps ain't seen shit. I said, you haven't seen the likes of Vindictive Grade Scheming until you see me. I'm gonna make those hoes sweat. I'mma handle this at the oven. I've been team playing for 15 weeks. I've bailed hella people out of shit. I've been bailed out of shit lilke 3 times. That's why we are a team - i don't wanna see people burned, or hurt or out of hand on 300 degree sugar - but when someone deals me the bullshit end of a tasklist - it's on like mario brothers after a fat spicy blunt. This is the other thing that is on my nerves - those 2 work the LEAST --- yet they complain the most, they do nothing but bitch and whine and woo woo woo...well the last time I looked their baby motel asses were 10 years younger than me - so they should move with more spring in they asses. **rolls eyes** They can't even claim divastatic - coz their products aren't that good, in taste or appearance. Frankly it's pretty obvious that they are just milking whatever scholarships to avoid the real world - I mean buddha forbid someone actually eat their shit. Oh and that inbred looking beeyotch T----, she swears up and down to all the gods and demons that DESIGN is her forte. That she loves to design and blah blah this and blah blah that. Well if she loves to design then she should stop stealing OTHER PEOPLES SHIT...i have yet to see ONE fuckin original idea come out of her head. I don't know what flavor crack she ate the day she registered...but uh, someone should have let her know that before you even get to touch the sugar and chocolat and plate dressings - you gotta be the pastry cream slave or the tart concubine. No one's ass is dipped in caramel that you are gonna get rock star status from the get go. I have YET to see that trick pipe on clean chocolate line, or even slice fruit with a clean knife. And don't even get me started on that fruit stealing shit eater...J----- can kiss my brown ass all the way to her Navajo tribe.
So having said all that...it's game on. I'm upping the standard in design, production and taste. I'll hit you where it hurts. I'll hit you in a spot where you can't reach me. We've been pacing ourselves just a touch ahead so we can grab coffees @ that kiosk or tug on a square - but those days are done. It's Saucy Time...Let it be known that when all this smoke clears - that no one did it to them but themselves.
So we made some bread pudding...ours is chocolate pecan

Again we made flan aka creme caramel.
I love the scent of creme caramel, it just smells so damn good to me. As you can tell by the photo ours was sampled quite a bit. Chef called our joint "exquisite" I split the take with Jena and brought it home to my bro - and all he said was WORD!!! Funny Roe is saying more and more hip hop shit lately. I'm glad his assclown friend left this house - racist fucka - more on that later.
Either you have taste, or you do not. I am not an elitist by any means but when it comes to seductions of the eye and seductions of the mouth there is a fine line between overdone and done. If I have to dole out ONE more fucking ass whipping - I'm going to start charging admission and shit. On the flip side, Keezie makes the most fabulous roses fashioned out of strawberries. He taught me how today but i haven't tried it yet...but they are beyond pretty AND edible.
I lost my temper today and got LIVID, even before school started and shit...my anger is as bitter as my love is sweet. Somehow he managed to stay calm and maintain himself despite the fire I was spitting. Imagine that, a man unafraid of lava. I am very much about the preservation of respect and when I get torqued about something I speak on it. I will no longer hold onto bullshit and let things get rancid inside of my heart. I was impolite in hanging up twice and apologized very shortly after...manners are what separate us from animals and I should have let the man speak. As quickly as my fury came it went. Funny I could feel panic in my soul but it wasn't mine. I've faced that demon called solitude and I'm not scared of that muthuhfucka - I know him like I know my right hand. But a few hours later I called and said, "we're cool...don't trip. However, never fail me again." Done deal and everything agreed. I only had a few minutes to spare between lectures so I told him to call on the fairy ganja mother to make sure her crib was straight...
Trouble was in the air tonight. So many people were hella perved everywhere I looked. I'm glad the day is done. And I came out unscathed, my heart is whole, my spirit is swole, my love is bound, my pastry pimpin is sound, my path is in front of me and it's dope that it wraps around a lot of people i really like and respect, most of all i have hella people I can trust...

Tuesday, October 5, 2004

05 Oct 2004: Deadly Breadly




What's this look like?

How bout this We made 8 loaves of bread, endless creme caramel (leche flan suckas), and 2 flavors of creme brulee...That all makes me want to lose my mind. Class is much more cohesive now and we've lost another 3 from the last 6 wk sessions...At this point in the game either you get it or you don't. I've pretty much just made my choice - my choice is to stay neck in neck with Jenatick and Keezie. I'm not here to fail or lag or be sympathetically failing. I found this on the loading dock Bwaaaaaa hahhahahhah Anyone who thinks that the Pastry and Patisserie program does not involve hustle is damn deluded. We take our little pleasures where we can whether that be a smoke break together laughing or me singing my stupid ass Ditty's ..one and one we made some buns in the kitchen all day and all of the night ..two and two we made brulee too in the kitchen all day and all of the night ..three and three it's caramel to me in the kitchen all day and all of the night...



I have to admit now that class is bumping up a notch I'm not so tolerant as I was. For those of us who know the hustle and have timing down - it's a major pain in the ass to watch the unmotivated flail or whine or complain. Shit more than half those girls are 5-10 yrs younger than me, so why the fizuck are they dragging ass. I mean seriously is it so hard to pick up your feet and act like you have something to do. I sure as shit hope they don't fuck like they work coz that's some dead style business. It's time for a change I'm telling all the hotshots we're gonna drop it into overdrive and reset the pace. It's already changing those in the back have come to the front with the rest of us. The class is weeding down bit by bit and I can't complain coz those I'm close to keep me at pace and competitive...