Happy Tiger Day Playboys!!!

This morning Tiger woods made his official "television apology" exclusively on the Golf Channel.

For months different tv show hosts and desk anchors have been saying,"Tiger owes America an explanation and an apology..." Who the HELL gave these news personalities the right to demand shiit. He doesn't owe anyone shit except stellar golf performance. However, I knew he would give the press a bite due to his partnership with Nike and his foundation.

His 3 page apology was specific and repeated a few key points to drive it home to the media as they have selective hearing and like an impolite guest will pick only the juiciest part of the meal. I was appalled that he tried to cannonize that moronic wife of his. I would have made a PARIAH out of that bitch and put her in a CLEAR place. He was naive enough to refer to her as 'displaying grace' Bwaa hahahha. Hey Foolio Woods - you know her and her bitch posse were leaking shit to the press to strengthen her position in case of a multi millio dollar divorce. Bwaa hahhaa. That's sorry.

The jist of the apology is this "Mind your own business and I don't owe you shit." And truly he does NOT. He needs to play golf and show them how it's done...he needs to continue working on giving talented kids scholarships and opportunities...and worry about them kids and his Asian Momma. He also needs to put that hoe in check.

I like how he had Momma Woods in the front row and of all the pro golfers that would show front row support - it was Notah Begay the talented Native American who he even hugged. The PGA chairman got a courtesy handshake. I hear what you are saying Tiger --- even if you didn't verbalize it.

Believe me MILLIONS of us LIVE that shit.

Tiger went wrong 6 years ago when he married that breeding sow. A Nanny! A Nanny? A Nanny. You should have hit it and quit it. Model my ass. It ain't like she had real model status like a Naomi Campbell or Devon Aoki or Kimora Lee or Cindy Crawford type shit...She had a FAILED modeling career at BEST and on top of that her shit is all air brushed...coz if her modeling career was so hot why was she workin' as a NANNY. You hire the help kid - you don't hump it or marry it. But I suppose in his heart he knows that - because if he would have respected her inside of his soul he wouldn't have cheated on her a gazillion named and unnamed times. Because you respect your equals and strive to stay level with them in all the many ways.

Which brings me to Jesper Parvenik. Your wrinkled brokeback Morrissey lookin ass needs to SHUTTTTTUP. How DARE you "apologize" for introducing them. Elin couldn't even correct a Pebble Beach bartender for giving her a Hard Lemonade instead of a plain one - believe me motherfuckers I was there in 2001- it HAPPENED. How DARE you Parvenik - mind your own career you crusty bastard. When that cow met him he was already a multi millionaire...she didn't have shit but moderate looks with a quick expiration date - believe me I know - I've spent extensive time in Sweden.

She's a moron. When my husband is a multi millionaire - I will rebuild rec centers in all areas because the counties no longer have funding to maintain programs , and fund adult literacy, and create revenue for audio books for the blind and work with some specific orphanages overseas. Life is bigger than yourself - and trifling hoes get what they deserve.

I'm sad for Tiger too because I sense that if Big Poppa Woods were alive none of this shit would happen - he is just lucky that he has the concrete support of a Momma.

The funny thing is 2 of 3 people polled won't even change support of him despite the infidelity. Because at the end of the day infidelity has happened throughout the ages and it will continue to happen in the future. I just don't like that they are trying to "lynch" and "whip" him with publicity. Keep tryin' Haters.

I'll say this now and I said it the day after Thanksgiving 2009 - "Leave his ass alone..." Stupid Ass American Media - they try to demand apologies of a sports celebrity while politicians get away with infidelity and gay infidelity ALL DAY. Why don't they approach real issues like the gross intellectual malnutrition of 2 generations - Why don't they attack corruption in state and federal agencies - Why don't they address the illiteracy of generations on a societal/nutritional/cultural level. Why don't they address the fact that over half the nation only speaks English and they speak it poorly. Kiss my ass with your corporate owned media bullshit.

I will always be on the side of the hustler and not the hoe.

15 Dec 2008: Sushi is good. but i forgot the food pics. LOL

Saturday we dropped my bro at the airport (off to Manila/asia for a month). Well the night before we already got it in our heads that we wanted to grab some ninja sushi and go buy up some anime figures after the airport drop.

So Julian goes home to shave and unloads the truck and then I make some quickie nachos and then we're off.

We sit down...sake bombers, hilarious cutsie waitresses, hot tea, ice water and start tickin' off our order...Nosy Julian notices a lady next to us on the phone...and says,"Are you waiting on a blind date?" The lady was like,"oh how'd you guess..."

She's lucky i took a blurry one. Coz her face was kinna hurt, not in a super ugly way --- but in this strange bizarre desperate way that kind of repelled me. All in one breath she tells our table,"oh yeah i'm on a blind date, this is my second one, i've started this internet dating thing on a christian website - but it's been real weird, i don't really like dating, but after 27 years my husband left me for someone else, i need to be somewhere in a relations ship, so you know..."

HUH.

Dannnng like that just put all your business on front street in front of the brown folks - sorry Lady - you funny. She looked at me and was like what do you think,"I said dudes who are good on the internet suck at real life and never deliver their internet personae." She asked,"where did you two meet," In unison,"At a hip hop show." How long have you been together? In tandem again,"2 years on New Years Day." Awww. I said,"Look, my boyfriend stinks at emails, instant messages, text messages and all that...however..." Julian chimed in,"however, I'm hands on sexy - hahahhahha" I just smirked and said,"He's best in real life on any level...if I would have met him on an internet level I would have misread him." She's like oh.

Julian,"Lady you should watch pimp chronicles, that's what men want"

I didn't say a WOOOOORD. Bwaa haahhaha.

We really love sushi...seriously

We waited all day with very little to eat. Just to get the grub on

tuna, spicy tuna, soft shell crab, salmon, chandler roll, dragon roll, sweet and spicy roll, philly funk, yum dee dee yum yum yum

How's Julian gonna find this thing...

And then talk about chicks with hurt faces or his homies who date girls who are only attractive below the neck...

It's still good times...no matter where we go...

And why does funny stuff keep happening...all that laughin' make the pics blurr.

But it's still all good.

----

Yesterday was football day...Julian pretty much spends the whole day with the homies and I do some nominal cooking, take a nap, run some errands or sit at the cafe catching up on writing...

Around 4pm Kibby sent me a text that said,"what's for dinner?' I laughed and responded,"Sick of bar food?" He's like yeah. I texted,"chicken fried rice, prawns with okra in a mushroom sauce and beef lumpia." He's like can I bring Vic and his Girlfriend. I'm like yeah sure no problem.

So everyones eating and I'm making mango green tea and everyone is eating and laughing...and then the boys razz Vic's girl for a minute and she goes and smacks Julian's head with a piece of Paper. I put my knife down and said,"That one is free Laura...the next time you go anywhere near my boyfriends head - we're gonna have technical difficulties in this mothuhfucka..." She put her hand down and said,"sorry" I said,"like i said 1st offense slides,after that i'm movin furniture around this kitchen."

The boys thought it was funny but she didn't.

I'm laughin.

Tell you what girls...mess around smackin' men - you might find that one crazy dude that smacks you back - or even worse, they're girlfriend that LIKES smackin' people. 'Nuff Sed.

05 Jun 2008: So You Want It and You Wanna Eat It...

Some bitches...

Some "bitches" want their cake and to eat it too.

The other night Julian came home from playin' some tournament poker. He does this 2 or 3 times a week. He mentioned that our friend V** had been out of town in Michigan visiting his parents. I was like oh nice. So he mentioned that V** so called girlfriend approached Julian and started chatting him up. Well, she mentioned that his mother didn't seem to like her very much and felt that she should be doing "more." Bwaa hahhaha

He asked,"like what?" She said I guess like cooking and stuff around the house. And Julian just kept listening and she went on and felt that she didn't feel that she should have to do anything more than be his "girlfriend." I laughed and laughed and laughed. And Julian said what. I said well before I go off - does the non participatory hoe work? He said yes. I said okay so they split the bills down the middle and he said yes, but so do we. I said okay. I said, "she's a lazy bitch." He laughed and said you are right. So in that nice way that Julian and his Family are he said,"...perhaps you could look at this as a learning opportunity. Maybe you could learn to make V** favourites from his Mom." She basically said NO and she had no desire to do that.

THEN...she asked where is your girl, she never comes to the bar. Julian said she doesn't like bars and when she shows up places it's only to make an appearance, but my girl is doing her own THING. So then the dumb heffa presses him and he says she's either cooking or writing or painting. And the girl got this overtly dramatic move to her neck and hand and said,"Oh Hell no...I'm just not that kind of girl" Julian said,"she isn't home barefoot and cooking. She is a chef for a living and she loves to cook and I'm not gonna stop her from doing whatever she wants to do. BUT, what she does is the bomb - so lucky me." This dumb nutgarglin' hoe looked baffled. Julian said,"Look men and women are naturally good at different things...She is good at cooking and I'm not so I pay for the groceries and carry them in the house. She washes the dishes and I put them away. She does the laundry and I put that away. She organizes the house and I clean the bathrooms and shampoo the carpets. She tracks the expenses, I give her the money and she pays bills online and sends me confirmations. The girl was like Why? He said,"because this way we are pushing together instead of pulling apart..."

Of course she didn't get it and stood her ground and actually tried to magnify some moot point that she does try to cook but he would rather eat at the bar. Maybe because you don't cook in LOVE bitch. Just coz you like that shit doesn't mean it's good enough for consumption...That's WHY your Muh'fucka cheats on your ass (and I've seen it happen). That's WHY you get treated like a roommate instead of a girlfriend. That's WHY it's 4am and you don't know where that man is. That's WHY he doesn't really give a rats ass about what you do coz he does his own shit. That's WHY he doesn't care about the home you share because it isn't one. So before your slovenly ass bags any woman who COOKS check yourself. You ain't even a penny in a dimepiece world.

Mind you...a lot of my best girls don't cook - but they hustle and they never knock anyone who DOES cook. And I cook for them as willingly as I do for Julian. So I'm not knockin' the fact that she doesn't cook I'm knockin' the fact that she's knockin' someone who does. I gots. I gots my own house, own car, own shit...buy what I want when I want to and on a level that you will never aspire to domestically much less internationally. You are a thorn in that man's side and all you are doing is payin' half the rent IF that.

She's lucky V** even introduced her to his mother coz clearly she ain't even wifey material. I told Julian - I have an A with my mother in law and you have an A+ with your mother in law and all we have to do is maintain our A's. It is far better to start off with an A than it is to start with a D. City Momma has talked to Julian about how she can't wait to have Grandbebe's...and Country Momma has talked to me about how she can't wait to have Grandbebe's. I told him my mother has never talked about that in excitement EVER EVER EVER. He said neither has his. I told him do you know what an honor that is? He said YES! I said because your Momma trusts me with the upbringing of the Grandbebe's as my Momma trusts you also. That says a lot for who we are separately and who we are together.

We are lucky - to have the maternal blessings. Of course his Pops is always sayin' how he loves his daughter in law and where is that GELATO. hahahha.

---

So take it how you want it.

We preserve our home on a certain level because we are building a life. We both understand that we do NOT get something for nothing and V**'s bitch like so many around expect everything for nothing. Don't ask for something you do not have...if you ain't got it then you have no right to expect it. These bitties feel they can sit on that big doughy ass and get the world just for existing. Reality Check HOE - never in the history of PIMPDOM does a hoe get something for nothing. So get under that streetlight before I unravel this hanger and teach yo' ass.

This is how we do it.


That right there is a clafouti. It is a pate sucre tart (akin to a dull sugar cookie crust) then filled with a few berries then covered with a beurre noisette (browned butter) batter. It's really just a dressed up madeleine with some fruit inside. The side is creme anglaise with some chocolate and whiskey drops. That is how I chose to do my design, considering the sauces had little to no time to set - I had to fatten it up a bit, but I did what I could...I really enjoyed watching Snatch 1 and Snatch 2 struggling. Just working and working and overworking their bullshit.

Well you know what you trifling hoes - nothing will ever change the fact that the only taste you have is in ur got Damn mouths. If it isn't obvious - know this. I am FED the flambee up. First of all, why are they so lazy and hold up the class and when it's clean up time they take their slothy asses straight to catering, however...when it's time to switch up kitchen managing duties --- they don't do jack shit, they just sit on their asses while everyone does work. This is the thing - J--- and I are always about an hour ahead of everyone so we manage all the sous chef duties and the chef demo areas so that we are ahead for the night. Also, J & I pretty much float at the top of the class - so it can't be said that we are laggers despite the extra load...well first of all, we don't get ahead so we have to pick up their slack. second of all, don't hate on us coz we are on top of our shit...third of all, you're pastries suck big hairy donkey balls coz you don't give a shit about your culinary integrity. Well that's all well and good you can suck all the nuts you want but not on my time.

Well tonight - we were a good 4 paces ahead of everyone and actually helping the rest of our slot with their fruit and splitting out our custard to make the work go quicker. So why is it that 11pm rolled around and there was half the work undone. So about 6 of us pulled it together and cleaned our half of the room, plus chefs, plus prepped the demo for tomorrow --- so how is it that the 3 of us who work the hardest end up with the shittiest kitchen jobs which are deck brushing and mopping. I said, haha oh it's like that huh --- okay. I told that feather sporting trick,"I feel you now. I said now you're gonna see me kick ALL my projects up another notch...keep up hag - coz now ur gonna be 90 minutes behind me instead of half an hour...good luck keeping up." She's like what? I said take your ass somewhere I have shit to do, coz I've been doin your job all night. Then her little sidekick came up to me and said...um ah um ah...I'm like take that bullshit somewhere until you can speak in full sentences off the short bus, you made it to the bottom of my priority list.


The night passed and work went on. I laughed all the way to the parking garage and said y'all pastry pimps ain't seen shit. I said, you haven't seen the likes of Vindictive Grade Scheming until you see me. I'm gonna make those hoes sweat. I'mma handle this at the oven. I've been team playing for 15 weeks. I've bailed hella people out of shit. I've been bailed out of shit lilke 3 times. That's why we are a team - i don't wanna see people burned, or hurt or out of hand on 300 degree sugar - but when someone deals me the bullshit end of a tasklist - it's on like mario brothers after a fat spicy blunt. This is the other thing that is on my nerves - those 2 work the LEAST --- yet they complain the most, they do nothing but bitch and whine and woo woo woo...well the last time I looked their baby motel asses were 10 years younger than me - so they should move with more spring in they asses. **rolls eyes** They can't even claim divastatic - coz their products aren't that good, in taste or appearance.

Frankly it's pretty obvious that they are just milking whatever scholarships to avoid the real world - I mean buddha forbid someone actually eat their shit. Oh and that inbred looking beeyotch T----, she swears up and down to all the gods and demons that DESIGN is her forte. That she loves to design and blah blah this and blah blah that. Well if she loves to design then she should stop stealing OTHER PEOPLES SHIT...i have yet to see ONE fuckin original idea come out of her head. I don't know what flavor crack she ate the day she registered...but uh, someone should have let her know that before you even get to touch the sugar and chocolat and plate dressings - you gotta be the pastry cream slave or the tart concubine. No one's ass is dipped in caramel that you are gonna get rock star status from the get go. I have YET to see that trick pipe on clean chocolate line, or even slice fruit with a clean knife. And don't even get me started on that fruit stealing shit eater...

J----- can kiss my brown ass all the way to her Navajo tribe.
So having said all that...it's game on. I'm upping the standard in design, production and taste. I'll hit you where it hurts. I'll hit you in a spot where you can't reach me. We've been pacing ourselves just a touch ahead so we can grab coffees @ that kiosk or tug on a square - but those days are done. It's Saucy Time...Let it be known that when all this smoke clears - that no one did it to them but themselves.

So we made some bread pudding...ours is chocolate pecan

Again we made flan aka creme caramel.


I love the scent of creme caramel, it just smells so damn good to me. As you can tell by the photo ours was sampled quite a bit. Chef called our joint "exquisite" I split the take with Jena and brought it home to my bro - and all he said was WORD!!! Funny Roe is saying more and more hip hop shit lately. I'm glad his assclown friend left this house - racist fucka - more on that later.
Either you have taste, or you do not. I am not an elitist by any means but when it comes to seductions of the eye and seductions of the mouth there is a fine line between overdone and done. If I have to dole out ONE more fucking ass whipping - I'm going to start charging admission and shit. On the flip side, Keezie makes the most fabulous roses fashioned out of strawberries. He taught me how today but i haven't tried it yet...but they are beyond pretty AND edible.

I lost my temper today and got LIVID, even before school started and shit...my anger is as bitter as my love is sweet. I am very much about the preservation of respect and when I get torqued about something I speak on it. I will no longer hold onto bullshit and let things get rancid inside of my heart. I was impolite in hanging up twice and apologized very shortly after...manners are what separate us from animals and I should have let the man speak. As quickly as my fury came it went. Funny I could feel panic in my soul but it wasn't mine. I've faced that demon called solitude and I'm not scared of that muthuhfucka - I know him like I know my right hand.

Trouble was in the air tonight. So many people were hella perved everywhere I looked. I'm glad the day is done. And I came out unscathed, my heart is whole, my spirit is swole, my love is bound, my pastry pimpin is sound, my path is in front of me and it's dope that it wraps around a lot of people i really like and respect, most of all i have hella people I can trust...