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Sunday, April 25, 2010

All This Scratchin' is Makin Me Itch...

I still like makin' things from scratch...

Here's the last 2 things I learned to make this week.

Beignets - 1 with sugar and the other with a chocolate peanutbutter ganache and pecans.
It's really not too much of a hassle except waiting for the dough to rise and putting in the club soda at the right time. I think the funnest part is frying them up and then dipping them and everyone scrambles to eat them even if they are hot.

I must say it's just a glorified donut but it's GEWD!

The other thing I learned to make this week is red velvet cupcakes - now people ooh and ahh over this cake - and it's 'ok' to me but not as good as lets say amaretto sourcream poundcake but it's 'ok' Definitely not my first choice - but everyone oohs and aahs about it so much I decided to make it. It's a pain in the ass - and no peekaboo baking or the centers will drop.

But everyone is happy with them.

After all that work I just made a loose floral piping for the cream cheese frosting.

Seriously - what a mess, and truth be told the most expensive ingredient in this cake is the food colouring. RIDICULOUS. The food colouring doesn't even make a difference in the flavor (unless you have sharp taste buds and detect it as a mint aftertaste because it's synthetic), but it is a signature colour so if you do it do it as it should be done.

I put a sugar glaze on the top of the cupcakes while hot to seal in the moisture and give it a soft break bite before i put on the icing.

This cupcake is even cute naked. LOL and it doesn't taste bad. I think they would taste better with bits of fresh strawberry baked in - but I'm sending these off to Mr. Man's office so when sending treats it's best to send the recognizable at first.

Here's the recipe.

2 sticks butter
2 cups sugar

3 lrg eggs

3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
2 small bottes red food colouring
2 Tbsp vanilla

3.5 cups cake flour (sifted)

1.5 tsp salt
1.5c buttermilk

1.5 tsp vinegar
1.5 tsp baking soda

Heat oven to 350.

Mix butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs into fluff 1 at a time fully incorporating between eggs. In a separate bowl whisk cocoa powder, food colouring and vanilla. Add to batter. Blend thoroughly. Alternately add flour and milk (with salt stirred in) 1/3 at a time blending thoroughly and scraping sides. Add vinegar and baking soda. mix thoroughly - pour into greased cupcake pans. WILL MAKE 18 if you do it right.

Bake 30 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean - remove from heat and cool completely


You will have to google some icing recipes coz my booty is tired. LOL

'Birthin' my Disgust...

The Arizona Birther Bill.

I quote from "the state GOP pushed through a radical bill that would require police to interrogate anyone they suspect of being an illegal immigrant, the Arizona House embraced the "birther" conspiracy about President Barack Obama. On Monday, the state's House voted for a provision that would require Obama to show his birth certificate to order to be included on the state's ballot in the presidential election."

Are you kidding me? Really?

I am thoroughly disgusted by this blatant rape of basic civil rights that stretches probable cause to include skin color. Dumb Ass Jan Brewer (whom i did not vote for) stated on the news the other day "what does an immigrant look like because I don't have a preconception of what one looks like" Bullshit Bitch. Everyone knows they are not going to ask my Filipino ass for a birth certificate nor will they ask my black boyfriend, my chinese friends, my white friends nor will they ask my Mexican friends who are engineers and such and drive Beemers. I doubt they will pull over a couple illegal Italians and British that I know who are hangin out in AZ either. The cops will also not pull over the PLETHORA of illegal Canadians who I know lurk in Scottsdale. They will question folks who appear to come from the Southern Border - such as Mexican people.

Really? Really.

I've been pulled over in Oakland before when my hair was twisted up and I had some Dr. Dre on Vibrate in my Jeep. The cop thought I was black and when he figured out I was Filipino he let me go. I remember he told me that he thought my Jeep engine was TOO LOUD and it was bordering 'noise pollution.' I can genuinely say I know what it's like to be profiled since he followed me for 3 miles, called in my plates then pulled me over with his hand resting near his gun with the buckle unstrapped. That shit is not cool - and though it always aggravated me I got over it because things slowly improved.

Now this...

Most shocking of all are the Ethnic Minority Republicans who are trying to stand up and defend the Birther Bill. First of all you ain't even in the right tax bracket to be a republican, Second of all they don't even give a shit on the global and cultural scale to preserve any kind of cultural ideology or identity you have and finally - have you lost yo' damn mind?

My boyfriend finds the whole thing hilarious because I know he has intentions of becoming an ex-pat. But I am baffled and disgusted - that they are using this platform of hysterical ignorance to fuel a police state, override basic rights and shit on the constitution. In the short time I've lived here I will tell you this - there is never a shortage of any cops in any city around here - but the they will quickly dismiss 25-40% of their teachers and cut school budgets. The children here have a mediocre education at best and their manners might as well be in the shitter - my sisters dogs have better manners.

I believe the immigration issue needs to be addressed but not by creating a police state. I mean seriously - you are gonna give these high school level gun toting robots the ability to make the independent, spontaneous and random decision about WHOM to pull over because they appear to be "immigrant" They need to think about that shit. My grandparents did everything by the book when they came over here of course it was a bit more lax due to the Philippines helping in the War versus the Japanese but still - they were required to take the tests, fill out the paperwork, establish residency and all that.

It's funny to me that White America is quick to want to do this Immigrant Cleansing. Are they completely oblivious to the fact that albeit there is illegal immigration - Immigrants fuel our economy. Immigrants due very difficult and dangerous jobs such a butchery, meat plants, agriculture, nurseries...and of course restaurants and other service oriented jobs. There are also jobs that they go out and solicit that are skilled but they charge less, such as masonry, construction and gardening. - Most of these jobs pay very little and on the scale of things the pay is NEVER tantamount to the work. If we empty these jobs suddenly it will create a long dip in our economy - coz I just don't see any square ass nose in the air republicans rushing to get some dirt under their nails.

Even the district attorney has voiced that he disagrees with this bill but as a servant of the state has no choice but to defend it. He also foresees a lot of lawsuits - yeah no shit sherlock - I didn't need law school for that foolio. Jan Brewer can play as dumb as she wants coz she's as dumb as it gets. She can also kiss my ENTIRE brown ass.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Oh here come this bitch again...

Let me preface this by sayin, I do not have a facebook - but I do use my sisters facebook to play games (lol). Well in playing the games I notice the stream of updates on the newsfeed.

I tell you what - My sister is a NIIIIIICE mofo - coz I wouldn't talk to quite a few of those bitches and I sure as shit wouldn't pee on them if they were burning down to 5th degree burns. They are fake ass user bitches who think they can pout, flirt, fuck, suck or bullshit their way out of anything.

Well today this one chick sent her an email that said - OH does anyone blog - it's official i'm starting a blog. Really???

Hella EW - Really and then she spelled chick as chic. Ew. You know what I can't stand is people who are SURFACE positive. People who are always attempting to preserve the concept of NICE while failing to serve the delivery of TRUTH. Well that and on top of the fact that she likes my handsome ass brother - UH NO, she ain't wearing our last name EVER and i'll cockblock that into the next life.

Who wants to read your endorphine driven attempts at motivation and your paltry attempt at girliness that only make you look like a reject on RuPauls "drag race" - stop lying to yourself cow - Just do what you do best - procreate and workout. Leave the writing to the rest of us.


Then there's her friends who profess a love of photography and painting and all of that - PLEASE - DO - NOT - BASTARDIZE - ART. When you me and we all know that you ain't good for ANY OF THAT. Please don't act like you really rock that new Canon when I heard your boyfriend say OH yeah she broke my last one...Please don't act like you really paint - when I walked by your cubicle and saw a PAINT BY NUMBERS kit from Michaels - bwaa hahaha. And please don't put your face near mine because I already heard about how you got that job on your knees (NASTY)...

I just wish they would stop perpetrating all these fake abilities and making them look like craft or skill - it's not - Its a hobby bitch.

Just a hobby.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Those Goodies...


Call them whatever you'd like to call them but everyone has 1 goodie they can't resist. Over 10 years ago I used to suffer from this God Awful insomnia and the one thing that made me want to sleep was the smell of baking - so I started baking cookies. I was dating this guy at the time and he got me a 500 page book of cookie recipes. So for weeks I would just bake certain cookies over and over. My brother is a great "guinea pig" because he tells you specifically what is good and what is bad - and I tweeked a few choco chip recipes together and came up with my own formula.

To this DAY they it's still the most requested dessert I make...

Occasionally I do mailings...

I remember back in the day I started giving out big cookies tins for Christmas coz the money was tight and it quickly became the gift of choice.

Some people like oatmeal..

Some people like my variations on a rice crispy treat...

Some are brownie junkies...

Then I randomly throw in wedding cookies or bonbons...

Sometimes I do special requests for mr Man's office...

But then there's Goodies that aren't sweet at all...Funny the guy that would fall in love with me doesn't hardly ever like sweets...with the exception of a neopolitan cupcake I make for him

But for him Savory goodies are where it's at...


rice and sauteed dishes

and those diner type favourites like meatball sandwhich and fries...

I think his smile says it all...


I think cooking is dying in many ways. People who say they love it really can't cook for shit or concoct disgusting deconstructed food i mean really do i wanna eat some lavender lamb? Hellz no. When I was a working pastry chef I used to make family dinner for the kids at work and one night I made chicken and proscuitto florentine paninis and steak fries - coz I was pressed for time. One of the kids told me this is the best sandwhich I've ever had. I was like "shutttup, ur dad's an oncologist i'm sure you eat very well..." The poor kid said,"my mom might stay at home but she sure doesn't cook for us..." Sad.

Well it ain't dying in my house not as long as I can reach the stove and oven.


I'm hardheaded most times...

Last night I got it in my head that I was going to do my own taxes. I said to myself well it's pretty much the same thing every year and I can do these depreciation calculations "no problem"

Hahahha that's funny!

So by 4am I give up - because I can't find the property vs land depreciation and it was double calculating the rental property income and I ended up OWING. Bwaa hahaha - Sometimes you just have to learn to let people do things for you. Good news is - the tax lady got me 500 more than my own forms and the other good news is I found another 300 on Mr. Man's forms than he would on his own. Ironically, the tax preparer had 2 mistakes and couldn't figure out these additional deductions and I showed her that it was a discrepancy in 2 dates.

Taxes are lame - and they only often benefit those who have dependents. If I didn't have a property to calculate depreciation I would end up owing every year - Mr. Man and I agreed we need to produce some deductions. An 18-21 year deduction right?

I feel like every year the government takes more while I benefit less. All of these monies are taken out by local, state, federal, ssn...then there are minute taxes taken here and there. I used to work for the Dept of Deaf and Hard of Hearing and when I first got hired I said well how do you fund these special phones and equipment? They pointed out this very minute tax that everyone pays on their phone bill of about 22 cents or so and it provides it somehow.

I'm not saying I want an explanation - but if I pay my taxes I'd like the roads to look and feel right, the kids to have rec centers and see it put to work...Why even take any SSN tax from me coz I sure as shit won't get it in my vintage days? My Mom and Grandmother don't even collect theirs coz it's so paltry.

I'm just blathering. I can't help it - I resent taxes a bit.

Perhaps that's why I wait right up until the end even though I know I'm getting a refund - the entire act is tedious and it's almost set up so you fail.

But I didn't.

so it's cool.