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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

30 May 2007: 365 Days Times 2

...times 2...

Yesterday someone told me in this observatory matter of fact tone,"You look very different now than when I first met you..." I was doing something and said offhandedly,"Really? How so?" They said,"I dunno brighter, happier...somethin..." I shrugged and said nothing but continued to think about it. And...

And I looked at this pic taken 2 years ago at the Blunt Club...

And compared it to a pic taken about a month ago @ Groove Candy

Dammmmmmmmmmmmmn. The clarity and happiness in your eyes cannot be disguised, or faked or put on. This kind of happiness is something I never expected...My family, my friends, my love, my career --- Everything is on an upward float and every act and bit of work is connected to all the other pieces of your life. Everything is so harmonious now. There are days that I am tired, there are days that I am even exhausted...but all the days and all the nights shimmer with hope and a foundation stronger than granite. Yet how can it be so can i be filled with such enjoyment.

All the weakness I had in the past has faded into nothing but faint memory.

Amazing. Human resilience is amazing.


...human disappointments...

Tonight Julian became really incensed while having a conversation with someone and I had to "talk him down"...I mean really calm him a bit and get him back on the planet. He was just very disappointed in someone because he really believes in this person and feels they should be on a different level. I simply told him,"Some people don't want to be better. Some people simply do not have the capability to BE better. It is just not inside of them to succeed regardless of encouragement,opportunity, background or even being handed everything...people who are afraid of success will squander any chance given with their lazy natures. Not everyone will Rise."

We have far too much to do to be concerning ourselves with those who cannot.

I suggested he just chalk it up as a small loss. Afterall he's only known this person for a short time and the person is merely someone he associates with and is not truly friends with. I like that he gets torque'd when people don't try. I told him it's an indication that you feel that there is still good in everyone. I am not so generally optimistic about the nature of others, because I believe that there is intellectual, creative and social inequality in the world to preserve balance. But it's great that he has a strong desire to impact people in the way he lives and loves. I am not so easily moved.

So we balance each other.

Like I said.


Friday, May 11, 2007

11 May 2007: So...part II


So the other day I pop by the house...I don't think I've been home since Asian Festival or when I do get home everyone's knocked out...I go in the garage and there is a new...burgundy...Jeep Commander TOY FOR My SISTER...

I just laugh...then as I walk in the door I look at the furthest spot in the garage and my brother has a new Bee-meezie as well!!! His other car was 6 months old at BEST! You guys keep on with all this we'll need a 4 car garage instead of the 3 car garage we got. Bwaa hahhaha. I walk in the house where Keyla and Xtina are waving the remotes at the big screen. I pop a load of laundry in and say WUUUUUT are you chicas doin??? They said we are playin' Wii. I start laughing...I'm like I haven't seen you in a week and look at all this going on...and my brother is in Calie on business. Jeez.

So I ask the girls if they want to go to Costco in a couple days and they start laughing and say haha we're leaving for Orlando in the morning...I'm like HUH...they are like YEAH **still playin' Wii** I'm like you guys suck. Ironically, the last time we went to Disneyworld was also on a Mother's Day weekend and we had Mom with us that time.

In that quick few minutes lookin' around the house and talking to everyone I've decided that since we are all unmarried, without any kiddos, mortgages handled, school done and with a bit of leisure income --- adulthood is as cool as I expected it to be. When I was little I thought "grown" people could get what they want when they wanted to...stay up late...and everything was fun. Lately...that's what it is --- like being a big kid with a real income.'s not about the money. It's about that freedom to get what you want when you want it. I think the one of the hardest things would be to want something and not being able to get it after you've been working so hard. It's so nice and so bless-ed to look at luxuries and comforts and not have it feel like a life decision. We don't have to decide between the filet mignon or a full tank of gas...we need it and we get it --- It ain't no life decision. It takes pressure off of your mind to have capability...

Bwaa hahahhaha



So...last week I decided that angry people crack me up. Keep bein angry I'm just gonna be over here grinding my day out and smiling in my own orbit.

The funny thing is, most times really angry people aren't angry at anyone but themselves / the condition of their lives / the pervasive lonliness / the lack of communion and kinship / an ingrown toenail / hell - i dunno...but you can have that coz I have too many fun and positive things to pay attention to!!!


so - everyone is talkin' politics...this candidate - that candidate blah di blah yada yada yada. First of all...the party system doesn't mean jack shit because our judicial system is all F****D up. One does not necessarily sway the other so albeit people go into office and make laws; the enacting and enforcing of them is totally whack. Second of all, don't regurgitate some party hype as if you were spewing your own knowledge and political saavy. Chances are you don't know are just regurgitating some BULLSHIT from someone trying to cultivate your vote. Don't lie to anyone and don't lie to yourself. You have no are just spitting out what someone shoved in your open mouth. Finally - Despite all this I vote. I vote because a lot of women fought for me to have the right to vote...I vote because they marched and rallied going against men and society so that I would have a voice. So even if I put Bart Simpson or Donald Duck in a write in ballot. I vote.

so...utterly hilarious...

So my friend Bree and I are talking and we are talkin' about people who casually have children they can't afford. This makes me laugh to no end. I said they can go ahead and use those state benefits because I paid all of 9 dollars to the state this year - I'll spot you on some WIC.

so...I also love that they can't afford to nest or develop them they are often ILL FED, unMANNERED, unKEMPT and just bad in general. I'm sure some of you are sayin' that I don't have kids - but ask my best friend - she'll tell you. I make things happen. Higher Living via Learn-ed Living. society a favor. Don't walk around in full make up and dolled up when your kids fail to say please or thank you. Don't walk around with your nails and hair done lookin' all cute when your child has less breeding than my best friends dog. Don't act like everything is okay when your kid is living on chicken nuggets and junk food, or they aren't acting right in public. Don't act like the baby needs something when you just took YOURSELF shopping. Just Don't.

so...far away...

So Keyla tells me - Mom said she's sending you a ticket to go to the Philippines in August...I'm like Word? She's like yeah - it's time for you to go visit. She also mentions that I should see Lola (our grandmother) and my godparents. So I'm thinkin' like 9 or 10 days overseas with maybe a side trip to Hong Kong since it's just a 45 minute flight from Manila. I tell Julian this and he's like how much is a ticket to the Philippines? I tell him. He's like NO PROBLEM...I just need a passport. I laughed and laughed when he said that - cause it will be beaches, scuba diving and more tropical fruit than he can stand. cause it's gonna be nightlife and museums and exotic smoothies with some liquor jolted in. My lola is going to love Julian...but she always smiles at beautiful people.

Hidden Valley...Laguna Philippines

Julian can play some golf on Boracay while I catch up with some writing. We can also hit the waterfalls and hotsprings of Hidden Valley. Maybe pick up a little Strawberry Wine in Baguio. Damn Fabulous.

Like I said...I always thought adulthood would be this fun.


Doin' everything you were advised to do educationally, culturally, socially and morally eventually pays off - if you enter it with the right mindset.

I'm at ease. I'm so at ease.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

09 May 2007: That's what your ass gets...

Go ahead and pour a couple kilos of sifted powdered sugar into a fairly big mixer...and then turn it on...completely forgetting that you JUST used it on high speed! Bwaa hahahha

That's what your ass gets for daydreamin' about your man...

Saturday, May 5, 2007

07 May 2007: It's a bit much...

Category: Blogging

It's a bit much for a 3 year old...but I just couldn't help it

Chocolate Raspberry with Custom chocolate pieces on top

Bwaa hahaha

Happy Monday Everyone...

Thursday, May 3, 2007

03 May 2007: Tickled By Hand

Julian just told me that the HAND CAR WASH down the street is 7 or 9 dollars INCLUDING interior...Bwaaa hahaha

Madge you are finally going to get a bath...after weeks of sun rain sun dust storm rain heat...I'mma get you done right.

We are leaving NOW!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

02 May 2007: Keep Movin'

When I'm feeling tired or lost Love is the map that keeps me movin'...

'nuff said.