Typically this is a merienda/snack dish. It's akin to egg foo young or can be called a shrimp patty...It's super crispy but the inside is tender, I like mine dipped in vinegar with rock salt and chili oil...there's NOTHING healthy about this, but EVERYTHING about it is good...
We were sittin' around yesterday and I said you know what I want, I want Ukoy. Lola dolly said oh Ukoy - it's so gooood. Uncle Cris said AHHH ukoy - that's good, so good. Auntie Cecille said Ay Ukoy, how do you make ukoy, it's good. Then the Auntie Oyee and Auntie Peachy came and said Ukoy, sounds good. So I made it...
1 1/2 lb bean sprouts
20 pcs shrimp cleaned and deveined
1/2 block of tofu cut into rectangles (same length as shrimp)
1 bag tempura mix
1 handful buttermilk pancake mix
3 or so cups of water
1 tsp red chili flakes
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp annatto powder
1 tsp saffron.
Fill a wok or cast iron chicken fryer halfway with oil and when it starts to curl test heat by throwing in a piece of green onion or tofu - if it floats and spins with a hissing sound - the oil is hot enough.
Mix together tempura and pancake stuff with water and spices. It should be fairly fluid like pancake or crepe mix. Drop in 2 or 3 ice cubes to keep batter cold, but do not drop ice in hot oil (sorry guys, I had to say it). Set aside.
Use 2 saucers. Build the Ukoy on Plates: Place one handful of bean sprouts on the plate in a round flat shape. Top sprouts with 2 shrimp and a piece of tofu. Spoon about 2 tablespoons of batter over the sprouts. Tip the saucer towards the oil and gently slide into the oil. Let it sit there do not flip until the bottom slides easily or floats up. Turn shrimp side down, but only ONCE. Drain on paper towels and serve immediately.
uh. If you make hearty ones like I do, this will make about 10 pieces.
Kooky Dessert and Cookies...
I made a grip of cookies coz everyone loves cookies. Choco chip. Chocolate cookie with PB choco chips. Oatmeal. Coconut Squares on Pastry Puff. Sugar Cookies. Lawd, how tiring...but totally worth it. Last night I also made profiteroles. What most people see as CREAM PUFFS. But mine were filled with diplomat cream which is a mix of pastry cream and whipped cream then I topped it with caramel and some belgian cocoa creme...Bwa hahahaha. The aunties were like Oh very good, mmmm...Auntie Cecille said if I wasn't full I would eat THREE. haha. The funny thing about dessert around here is that with all the things i can make - I think cookies are the general favourite...The most simple dessert snack of them all.
Michelle's Request. A triple layer Strawberry Cake with milk chocolate ganache filling and then a simple whip cream frosting. This to be topped with chocolate dipped strawberries. I happen to have a little extra ganache --- so I made little rosettes. This cake was something that I had originallly made for Konradio's daughters 5th birthday. Michelle had tried it there and a little over 6 months later a request for it pops up. I made a little extra since I built it at the shop --- everyone loved it and it got a thumbs up. I'm getting a lot of little orders here and there for cakes, and even a wedding cake for Bria on March 26th. I am very concerned about taste. I care about the content as much as I do the appearance...
Everyone came back from Italy. I couldn't go on this trip, as I'm the only pastry chef around. I really with I could train a pinch hitter - but not right now. Too tenuous... After dissolving some drama - and after some general discussion about how Rome has changed a heap of goodies and utensils and tools were brought out for me. Of them all my favourite is the edible pigment in powder form. 8 huge jars of the most vibrant colour I've used. I tested the red with some white chocolate. Red is very rarely a TRUE red, a deep hearty red which is in reality a blue red...But just half a teaspoon of this stuff added to about 1000 grams of chocolate is amazing. It does not alter the nature of the chocolate - and when tempered it dries with the most freak nasty shine. Hahaha. I know about 7 people who would cut off a few toes to get a few jars of this shit. I also received 4 jars of specially made airbrush chocolate, it looks just like thinned acrylic paint - and the production manager is already talkin' about getting me an airbrush - lawd. Of course there were more acetate designs, rubber molds of various flowers, ring molds in daisy and heart and teardrop and on and on, The little mandolin 'junior' cracks me up so much. I can't believe they have design transfer sheets that you can use for both vanilla biscuit as well as tempered chocolate. The transfer sheets are design on parchment. Fucking bonkers. Just absolutely bonkers. I have also ordered some silicone half sheets with the design bottoms, and the pattern makers for the bottom of the biscuit. You know what It's fucking cool to be me. I am very rarely asked how MUCH is that, I am actually asked how much do you WANT.
...Pride in your Craft
I'm getting really sick and tired of people in the pastry game whose pride far exceeds their talent. I mean when I see shit - and I mean plain old fucking shit. Dirty chocolate piping, crooked chocolatiering, haphazard platings that look more jackson pollock than edible art, CORNY ass designs, even FUCKED UP HANDWRITING in chocolate, and I mean fucked up. And they take pride in SHIT it makes me want to BEAT the SHIT of their ass. Just because you went to school you little motherfuckers does not make you a pastry chef. Don't tell me or anyone else how GOOD you are if your shit is all drippy, sloppy and frankly unedible. I would send your forrest gump stylings back to the kitchen, just because you sold some tasteless fools on that garbage, don't lie to yourself. I am so sick and tired of this blatant cockiness in the kitchen arena that is backed with neither artistic skill or proper neutrality. I've spent hours just doing chocolate filiigree on my own time. I sleep and eat what I do because my brain is wrapped around it. People always ask to speak to me at the shop so they can compliment what they see and that they are happy to meet the artist behind the beauty...and I do my best to genuinely listen to their input. But I see what I do as a CRAFT, albeit it takes some amount of natural talent, more of it is dedication and work. I will always believe that there is someone out there who can teach me more. I will always believe that there's a lot in this sugary world I have yet to explore. I will always believe that remaining humble is the key to my improvement...
I've been told many many times, you are biting off more than you can chew - but give it a shot. The koi sugar pictured above is what my "SHOT" looks like.
That's the Mi Scuzi guy from Euro Trip...
Which brings me to Lorenzo. This stupid mothuhfucka. He's the moron Italian guy from naples who they hired to work the COUNTER. Then, he walked around askin' everyone if they want to 'make sex' like the damn guy from the train on euro trip. He never really bothered me coz I always knew he was bisexual at best. I took everything he said with a bucket of salt - coz he always acted like he just had hella money and a ton of shit - yet he was constantly coming to work and eating all the complimentary food they leave for us, then eat it all, not share his and eat all of our plates when we weren't looking. In filipino it's called patay gutom, in spanish it's called muerto de hambre. I have no idea what it's called in english - perhaps food greedy sack of shit??? Anyway, last week he told the general manager that I hate her and I'm going to quit and blah blah this and that. Which was all a fabrication of his from eavesdropping on random conversations I was having about the fact that I don't like to make production lists coz they are sheisty. So I knew he was coming in that day and I told the working managers- keep that gossiping prick out of my way or i'm going to pound the shit out of him with my rolling pins. So they told him leave her alone Lorenzo - she's busy and has a lot on her mind (I was trying to get to the hospital asap). So not only did he ignore the managers he then proceeded to follow me around the kitchen and ask me why I'm mad at him and blah blah blah. I told him in a calm voice in front of other staff - I am not angry at you, I am here to do a job and my job ain't to do you - so go to the front. Then he kept on. So I called Jessie and told her make "IT" go away or you will see the back of my head. So like 15 minutes later he walks out of the shop and says I can't work like this, I said take your ass on you hoe.
I had more things on my mind - and his Euro Illegal ass isn't one of them.
The filipino word for grandmother is LOLA...Our lola. She is currently recovering from some back pain and is disoriented. i KNOW for a fact that my lola has probably never had a drink, smoked any weed, or gotten high on any synthetic substances...So now that she is on pain medication --- she's so confused. To think she had over 10 children naturally and now some vicodin makes her absolutely stoned. She asks me where am i, why is this happening to me, what have i done. That can't feel good. Especially for a woman who likes to be in control. This is so sudden and shatteringly mortal. I don't like it. I want to be 10 years old so she could be healthier and younger too...
I wish you could buy biological time in increments.
So I'm not a baby anymore. Why can't I be.