Contact Me By Clicking "view my complete profile"

Contact Me By Clicking "view my complete profile"

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

30 May 2006: Don't Make me get the Dayuuum AXE

On Runnin' Around and grabbin' my axe...

I've been doin' a lot of runnin around - gettin' canvasses to paint some pieces for the house, grocery store runs, restockin' socks and whatnot. Everything around here is kind of routine yet it also seems like a lot of little things need to be taken care of. Yesterday, the boyfriend unit and I went to see Xmen 3 - don't even get me started on why the one Asian character had to be the porcupine dude, coz i'll just start cussin' about casting directors and shit, coz even the dragqueen got to be Soundwave which really is a kung fu-ish type of mutant power - but anyway...en route to Xmen my brother says I want some drumsticks and I was thinkin' why the FUCK does he want drumsticks - he hasn't played drums in like 15 years? So we're in the car on the way to Harkins theatre and my boyfriend says yah he wants the real drumsticks not the fake kind...and I look over at him and say - hey - my kuya hasn't played drums in like 15 years and he says you dork - drumstick icecream you know with the chocolate and the nuts - bwaaa hahahhaa....he says real drumsticks not the generic kind.


So prior to all that my brother says what are you doin' tomorrow - I said nothin really - just runnin bastard back to Tempe. and he says oh so your busy - I said no...I'mma go to the Asian store - he's like get rice, get beef tenderloin, get korean short ribs...and oh yah could you weed the front coz the HOMEOWNERS ASS'es gave us a notice. So last night I looked out there and there wasn't really any damn weeds and I was like yah okay i'll do it - I'll do it at Sundown. He said that weed pick thing is in the black basket in the garage and I say okay. So I ran errands - spent like 80 bucks on meat and medium grain rice and some flour so I can make my own Bao/Siopao/Manapua - whatever you wanna call it. Stop and pick up 2 shirts at the mall and a quad shot of espresso and grind home. 1 more stop to pick up rock salt and tamarind powder so I can make sugar free tamarindo juice. I get home unload the car, feed the dogs and go to the garage. No pick thing. PLUS there are like 4 of those homeowners association Nazi's in front of our house LOOKIN at the weeds. OMG! Can you give us a damn break - Everyone in this house is career oriented. First of all you don't need to give us a notice. Second of all - all you baby motel, stroller pushin, dick suckin' non career havin' stay at home hoes whose husband is prolly porkin' his assistant while you drink mid day at the clubhouse - yah YOU all you breeders and feeders need to stay off my property. Fuck that - I grabbed the red shorthandled Axe off the garage wall. If my grandfather could weed the garden with a MACHETE I was pretty damn confident that I could weed mine with an AXE. So the garage doors were open as I just got home and I come strollin' out with this axe in hand and a plastic bag that says 99 ranchmarket. They all pause to look at me and start pushin their strollers as if they are doin' an 'afternoon walk' I walked through the yard and there were maybe 20 very small weeds amid the rocks trees and plants. So I'm out there just choppin' and yankin some VERY small weeds - at best they were 4 inches high. And this hoe is WATCHIN' me do my shit with my axe for like 10 minutes. So I hurl the axe about 1 foot in front of me and it plants in a cactus. I look up at her and wait for her to say something. She says uhhh hello - with a fake ass grin. I said I'm not here to make friends go throw an ice cream social or some shit and get off my property. I can see her face winding up to say some shit to me. So I stand upright after slooshing my axe out the cactus. Her husband pulls her away with a nervous laugh. I'm like yah that's what I thought. So I'm just weedin' away and the PO PO come by. Yes the police drove by the front of my house and I'm weeding away with my axe - they roll HELLLLA I wave at them with my axe and grin - then they left the property.

Fuckin' Jackasses with Equity. I hope your husbands are porkin' their secretaries while your left to deal with vomit and diapers. Dumb wretches. I know that homeowners associations are shitty everywhere - but let me tell you they are doubly horrible here. I can't wait to get a loft in a couple more years. I'm sick of lookin' at the blank faces of breeders. I expect association dues in a building - but not in a damn gated community. Bleh.

No comments:

Post a Comment