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Friday, October 12, 2007

12 Oct 2007: They want what they can't Have - Thpthhh.

You always want what you can't have, at least THEY do.

…The Bebe Factor…

Whenever Julian and I are separated for any amount of time, people jock us. Actually we get jocked even when we are together. Anyhow…I think when you are attached to someone it automatically gives you "attractive" points.

I suppose the "attractive" points are only there when you are genuinely happy. Because there is something about you that has a stride and stroll that is a little devil may care because you are bathed in love all day every day. Of course there are those exceptions in society who like to pursue those who are taken or even juggle 2 people at once. I won't even discuss that in this blog because it's general knowledge that that is distasteful and stems from insecurity and interloping.

Jockers are funny…there are so many types of jockers.

Here is a sampling of the jockers I've experienced lately.

Road Jockers.

These are the dudes who do random odd things to get your attention while you are driving down the road or highway. A couple of them followed me as I exited the freeway and then mouthed, "you're foine!" to which I just shrug and then they try to ask me for my number and I mouth, "9-1-1" Bwaaa hahahaha. Road Jockers also include dudes at stoplights and city streets who wink or grin. Errrm…kinna creepy.

Grocery Store Jockers.

These are the dudes who follow you in the grocery store and pick up things in the aisles your in. Then they sidle up and look in your basket. Of course when they look in my basket I have next to no processed food…so they clumsily ask, "what are you making…" See --- you can't ask me that kind of shit. Know why? Because you aren't even on my level kitchen wise. I won't lie – sometimes I speak Engrish (English with an accent) to stave them off – but just my luck they dig the Asian Accent. Yikes. Bleeeeech.

Coffee Shop Jockers.

Sigh. I like coffee. Any time of day…neat espresso shots or plain iced coffees. I have a set amount of these jockers in addition to new ones. I see that wishful glisten in your eye dude…but I've shot you down before and I'll shoot you down again. You have to admire the caffeine injested bravery that encourages a man to pursue a woman who repeatedly says no. Sometimes I see their courage building up to talk to me and often you can swat them away with a faint raise of an eyebrow and a toothless grin. I have 3 new ones. They look attractive in their own right --- but there's only 1 face that makes me smile. The last 3 only took 2 days to talk to me. Very impressive but naw.

Laundry Room Jockers.

Uh Hell no. And quit lookin' at my panties you freak.

Hater Jockers.

These are my favourite. Last night I was leaving the shop after a 10.5 hour day. 2 guys were standing by their car which was parked next to mine. I waved at some of the barristas next door and said good night and walked towards my car. I am not exaggerating in saying they stopped mid conversation to watch me walk. I wish I could say I was uncomfortable but I'm kinna used to being stared at when I'm around the shop coz there aren't many brown folks there. So --- these 2 guys just flat stared at me and then they watched me walk over to my car to see if I would react. When I didn't they kind of snickered as de-alarmed my ride. So I put the laptop in the trunk and turned around. They shut up. I laughed now. Dude had like a 7 year old Land Rover…He said "your car is kinna small girl." I laughed and said, "Word?" He said, "…yeah…" And leaned on his ride. I laughed even harder and said, "Blue book my fully loaded shit versus your 7 year old pile…then we'll compare stacks kid…" His friend laughed his ASS off. Don't play if you can't do the math homie. Coz in my world cute is often more valuable than muscle.

Stuff Jockers.

I see them all the time. They jock my purse coz it ain't available here. They jock my jewelry wondering if it's real (it is Hunny). They jock my skin and even ask to touch it and ask me what I do (soap and water Princess). They jock my stroll my smile my wreckless little laugh. They jock the odd little combinations that come together to make me distinct. Even when I'm rockin' chef gear in all black with my old school hat to the back – they jock. I'm so glad to be doin' my job that well. Thanks.


This ain't demeanor kid. This is the way I live.

It looks easy huh. But it ain't. I work hard and I'm currently managing 3 gigs. I watch my stacks. I planted it, I'm watering it and I watch it to make it grow. So jock all you want and hate as much as you please – coz all that shit is just fertilizer to me.

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