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Monday, October 31, 2005

31 Oct 2005: Myspace engagement nevasoba/ms thang

they met on here

then met

then fell

then fell in love

What I love about them is that even though they are together they are still their own individuals. What I love about them is that LOVE HAS NOT DULLED THEIR SENSE OF SELF, but it has actually increased it and they stride through life together. It is par for course that they are best friends, soulmates, lovers, equals and all of that so the natural succession of things has lead to forever.

and now they are engaged...

we are spaceland friends

and when i talk to them

i feel like a piece of me is always home

and i think they are the best...

congratulations daisy and jon...



i just lub lub lub u guys

Saturday, October 29, 2005

29 Oct 2005: Just Delete That Shit

i'm tired of this verbal hide and seek...

i hate it that he wrenched my heart a bit

just by sayin, " i miss you damnnit "

i hate it that he is such a brujo to my bruja...

so before i forget, or before he deletes it

this is a comment i posted on his page

it refers to a dream i had...


10/28/2005 9:54:00 PM

i suppose you want to know
i don't think so
thought perhaps i could tell
but my pen on that paper fell
stabbing, oozing ink
telling what
i had dreamt
one night

i suppose you'll let me know
but then you wouldn't
would you?

i suppose i'd rather
scald myself
than tell


to be honest i'm surprised he even approved the comment - as fascist as he is about what goes on and off his pages as he has become servient to the drama of the girls around him...we talked one night and there was something just so damn sincere and vulnerable in his voice - i became haunted. to the point that that night i dreamt...

The dream was fast and blurry but bright like a wong kar wai movie. I kept hearing bubbly noises behind me. I could feel a faint rumble under my feet...i could smell stenchy travellers and dead cigarros...

I was packing and unpacking repeatedly and hurriedly as if I were running late and I had no idea where my destination is...I felt a distinct excitement but an even more pervasive sense of wonder.

I was on a boat or ship of some sort and a girl of some sort was trying to borrow shoes while i was standing at an espresso bar. I know it was the fall. It smelled like fall. I had a tiny suitcase filled with nothing but shoes. She kept speaking to me in Italian at a ridiculous clip...Once I started to get annoyed with this signorina --- I realized exactly where I was - I was on the ferry from Dover to Calais...I looked down at the little mules on my feet and laughed coz I was en route to paris in shoes that wouldn't stay on. I slam my espresso and walk towards the starboard doors because I like to watch the water go from cold to warm on the english channel. As I walk down the hall I see Joseph David sauntering down that hallway with a half cocked grin. I pause but keep walking and the sun is filtering through the doors behind him. I just let out the moist boisterous laugh and run towards him and literally run out of my shoes. I jump up to him and he catches me and I wrap my legs around his waist. I say okay okay you fucker - I love you. He laughs and says you barefoot brat and kisses me all over my face...and bites my bottom lip. I squeeze harder with my legs and I hear 2 places in his spine crack (towards the tailbone)...I feign shock and Say I broke your Back!!! In the sweetest voice I've ever heard he says, " no mama you didn't... "

I could feel his hand on the small of my back and then i woke up.


I even stopped midcake to write it down on a scrap of paper. I just couldn't bear the thought of letting such a dream drift away...


The entire dream just stayed on instant replay all that day.

At first it was enticing to me

Then it just bothered me


what does it matter...nothing will come of it right. but why do i feel so sad right now...just plain old sad...

Friday, October 28, 2005

28 Oct 2005: I give up

i'm tired of waiting...

i'm off to bed...

perhaps i'll dream again

of the ferry from dover to calais...

and the pavements of paris thereafter

28 Oct 2005: Hey Epademik

Hey was most fun at dinner - you are the best and a living reminder that the pursuit of what we love as a career is the only choice in this short short life. I can't wait to come out for the wedding next month coz it's gonna be grizzzzeat. You will always have my respect as on creative soul to the other...and as a friend. You've been such a friend to us - and always will be and I look forward to meeting the Loveliscious Linda...Thank you for my CD - coz you know what always sits in the 3 disc player - oh yes, Epademik...the fresh squeezed Emcee Esquire of L'orange County...howz dat?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

26 Oct 2005: Halloweenie and Balls

I don't know how I feel about theme cakes...

I've only put out a few cakes. Chocolate and White Chocolate Cakes topped with a tinted clear glaze and then the chocolate design on top. So then I piped out the dorky little spiders and put an almond on their back. and on the other I popped in a boo chocolate with a white be honest - i like the little tiny ones best. The bulk of them went out in the promo baskets for the media..

The GM said she wanted to make little roche ice cream balls with a raspberry center. I just thought roche BALLS sounded too funny - so i asked what is Ball or Round in Italian - and she looked it up and said there it is - Lampone Roche Gelato Sfere, compliments of Saucy. The desert is about the size of a baseball - these are cute even though they look a bit like knockers...I have to admit - even if they are quick to make, it's tough going - coz I have to create the ball then blast freeze it - then yank it out and dip it in hot gianduja type chocolate - haha tricky tricky tricky. But...if i were to choose a dessert - this would be the one.

I've no time to make a halloween costume. Mom and Lola have decided to bail for Manila in time for Todos Los Santos...and they will be gone for about 2 months so we did a lot of running around instead of me locating some carvable foam...oh well. There's still this weekend. We'll see how work and school go coz the costume should be pretty easy but i do need time.

Speaking of school...I'm tired of some of those people. They ask stupid questions because they don't listen. I think that's impolite towards the facilitator of the segment. I also think those bitches are simple in their fuckin' heads - the ones who ask the same question in an alternate matter thinking that they will get the answer they perceive as correct. I finally busted out this one stubborn barhag and said what you are talking about is totally irrelevant to what we are studying. The verbiage of what we are learning is legalise therefore it is not logical - it is applicable. she prolly opens her legs even more than she opens her mouth. You don't get a higher grade for "participation." All this shit is pass or fail. What a dullard.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

18 Oct 2005: Doctor of Patisserie - Saucy PH.D

This has happened for the last 6 weeks. I get called in on my dayoff coz of special requests for cakes. It's so funny coz our GM feels bad when she calls me - but it doesn't bother me one damn bit. I always say before I bail on sunday - just call me if I need to kill an order. haha.

I just got another voicemail..Channel 3 came by to televise and they gawked and filmed the cakes - the GM gave me the heads up - coz this means double custom orders until christmas. bwaa hahahha

And so again it happened today. But it's for M.Williams - they finally had their baby girl and he's so excited he needs a theme cake. I will work on the marzipan pieces tonight while I'm at kill grill but I'll build the bulk of the decorations this evening. His wife is so lucky - he only gets the best for her and his mother in law. And so I'm off. I'll be at kill grill after sundown - but for now I have to put on my apron and garde mange some mango flowers...

**two thumbs up**

I had an optometrist appointment today - my eyes are SHOT - hahaha they dropped another 100 pts, that's the bad news. The good news is he gave me 2 pair free of the new monthly disposables to "try out." I'm the only one in my family that has to wear glasses - this sucks haha. Next spring, I'm going to get lasik as a birthday treat to myself.

Friday, October 14, 2005

14 Oct 2005: Cake Call

Hell Customer 1

alked to T - regarding a pretty big chocolate cake. She had all kinds of crazy specs - dark chocolate glass, with artsy white chocolate 'jackson pollock' splashes and dots but not too many dots, no more than 10...and just a touch of meringue and a few raspberries but subtle. hahaha. So I made 2 versions, well that night after I left she called back to specify no MORE than 10 white chocolate dots. Bwaa hahahhaa. So I made a 3rd version because T- was reallly thinking that she was going to be uber picky...I said does it matter, she's got 3 choices now and if she doesn't want any of them, then someone will buy them out of the case. The general manager nodded and I didn't give it a thought. So 6pm came and amazingly no one was around but me - I showed her the cake, she said exquisite - perfect, just like i wanted. She was as pleasant as fuckin' cotton candy. I expected a little more snarl to her, but she just purred. haha.

Hell Cake 2.

"I want a mango and peach cake, and I want decorations, but not too high I want them to sit low. hahahha." After the whole chocolate incident - this wasn't shit. So I cut half a mango paper thin and then folded it so that it was bowed every other petal but the long petals hung over the edge of the cake - I would have been happier with a few pieces of dragon fruit - but it's a little hard to find around here. The GM called her to confirm the cake and the customer said, i'm sure no matter what your chef does - it will look great - haha. She picked it up and ooh-ed and aah-ed and said ohhh it's marvelous - just marvelous. bwaa hahaha.

Double Cake...

Rock-oh's got a double birthday tomorrow...Snaps cake which will have superman font, some chocolate buildings and a piece of kryptonite made out of sugar...and then there is Mandas cake which will be a chocolate vanilla joint - with a cinderella carriage on top made out of chocolate and i'm making the fat mouse and the skinny mouse out of marzipan. I'm just gonna hammer this out while i'm watching films tonight. I had to rework and recolour all of the marzipan today and that alone took 2 hours. I finished the bulkier pieces of chocolate as well as 6 other cakes. Rock-oh'z funny - he said let me challenge your ass a little bit, I want this this and that - and then he set me to task. bwaa hahahahha.

My other Asian Mommei...

The owner stopped by this afternoon to say hi and coz she missed us girls. She also stopped to comment how my cakes are becoming more popular and are 'just beautiful' and where do i come up with my ideas etcetera. She also looked pleased in sayin' that I obviously enjoy what I do, coz it shows in everything I do and how I treat the people around me. That's really dope to be recognized. I still believe only the humble improve, but once in awhile that pat on the back and recognition reinforce that i made the right decision in starting a second career. It's absolute truth that if you love what you do - you flow easily through work like swimming through water as opposed to running against the wind.

420 cake.

Why did rachael order a cake and in the special request section it says 'leaf' -and I said leaf? and she said YAH - a marijuana leaf!!! ahahahha. This is the same girl I bump into at nordstroms and we end up sitting in shoes just talking for an hour - hahaha. She came in today and said OMG i'm so glad to see you today - guess what, juicy couture bathing suits are on sale TODAY!!! haahhaha, I love that girl. Coz not only is she a slave to the boots like me, she also has a memory like a steel trap. Last time I saw her - I got these boots:

Frog not a Prince

Julias Joint. This was the final order of the day - it is a raspberry lemon cake and on top they want a lily pad with a frog on it (marzipan) and on the lily bad in chocolate i'm supposed to write Happy Birthday Old Man!!! And I said old man? She said Yah, I call my dad old man. Bwaa hahahha.

The custom requests are getting weirder and weirder. Some shit I just straight decline. Lorenzo came in tonight saying he needed 100 mini cakes for his friends wedding next month. I told him no way - I can't do it, I have to be in LA for a wedding. Ha ha, his Italian ass is going over my head to talk to L----. Yah right, that won't work, I'm already scheduled off the week before thanksgiving. I don't even want to think about thanksgiving and christmas - it's going to be insane. Plus we're opening up location 2, so that's going to be bonkers. I have to hire someone soon and I don't want to. I'm pretty comfortable with these 10 hour days, drinkin' down matcha tea and riding it out. But once we have back to backs - I'll have to juggle.

Miniature cakes are also berserko.

I miss Katie and Kae. I'll make Katie an offer. I'll see if she'll do it part time, just building and stuff, between her and M------, I think the three of us could shake it. Plus, real estate class starts on Monday - it's 4 hours a night monday, wednesday and thursday - so my days are going to get longer. It's just a technicality for me to get licensed and it's just 400 dollars, but shit -- it's not the money, it's the time that I need. I'm really hesitant to hire any cordon bleu primadonnas. I'll go see chef J on tuesday - and see if she has any suggestions. I'm from cordon bleu - but i'm definitely no primadonna.

Monday, October 10, 2005

10 Oct 2005: Favourite of the Day

I love this picture - it just has the colours of that movie Amelie...I need a picture like this - but with my big chef hat, my chef jacket, a ripped denim mini skirt and crazy knee boots. hahahhaha.

Weird thing today: exploding car going south on Hwy 17. Weird shit. It wasn't even hot today why do cars always explode on the side of the road in arizona. I don't remember ever seeing exploding cars until I moved here. Like 2 weeks ago I saw a station wagon on the side of the road just engulfed in flames. On graduation day - we saw a Uhaul on the 202 in like super duper high heat flames...

Doppelganger - we saw Casey Kulers body double in the magazine section of Barnes and Noble. Freaky. I think it's a sign that n.... needs to call Kuler...

I have 23 views today on my blog. Weird - who's the snoop doggy poop on this one - coz I only have a dozen or so readers. I have like 22,000 views other than that. I think i'm just gonna leave my profile classic for awhile - even though the fabulous Carrie Rawks of HIMstress fame has offered to do it for me...

I framed the boything - Everytime I knew he was a few steps near me - i would squeak a fart out and then the sales people would look at him funny - i am EVIIIIIIIL.

I found the dopest folding keyboard seat for the gelato makers at the shop - a casio PBench - they better love me for this. I also figured out a good ratio on the clear glaze for cakes and such. Fuckin' great we won't have to order the Italian shit. Whew. Tomorrow is Kill Grill - Midnight Brunch - it oughtta be fun. See all you Grillheads there tomorrow.

Okay time for a shower and then this new movie.

Goodbye my fans who read my blog - and if you want to leave a comment muhfuqqas - the worst I'll do is pie you in ur smarmy face.

Friday, October 7, 2005

07 Oct 2005: WTF Day Part II

Now granted, the temperatures have cooled down by about 7-10 degrees around here. But still, that only brings us to the mid 90's at best. This of course makes me happy, coz I don't feel peaked and faint just walking across the parking lot to the shop. It is even comfortable. However, I saw no less than 3 women today eating lunch in denim jackets, on OUTSIDE patios. Have they lost their bearings? 90's does not equal denim jackets. I mean it's still like 88 degrees at night. I mean come on ladies - it's not that serious. WTF.
I felt rushed and even though I accomplished a lot, I need to be able to do MORE! I need better work shoes. People are makin' fun of my baby doc martens calling me punk chef. I checked out some chef clogs - but they are 100 bucks. Now, I am even willing to spend 300 on shoes if I can try them on. I hate to buy shoes that are that plain for so much without having tested them before...WTF!!!
Quite a few people have been telling me lately that I'm losing more weight, or I look different, or there is something different about me or my face looks different. I'm not different - my hair is longer and I'm wearing my wire rim glasses coz i'm too lazy to go to the optometrist...The italian dude at work (complete with sicilian accent) says i look sexy in glasses and it makes him imagine how naughty i am in bed...freakin' hornball. WTF!!!
Why did dude order a strawberry vanilla moussecake...with a pink zebra design on top...i should have taken a picture. That was fruitier than a fruit roll up...WTF!!!
I'm a bit tired today. I'm too young to be tired. WTF.
The little wood piece on my italian easel is fixed. And the Carpenter did it for free - that's a YIPPEE WTF
JDT is out of control. WTF...
That movie Mail Order Wife is HELLA out of control. The part where she says you get fuck out 'kay.--- blew me off Hyders leather sofa...WTF

Thursday, October 6, 2005

06 Oct 2005: Today is a WTF Day!!!

I came home and my profile was NAZI edited by Myspace. WTF.

I walked outside and my sister told me - hey the homeowners association emailed us and said there is a MOUNTAIN LION in our GATED community. WTF.

I made a grip of cakes and the case wouldn't drop temperature. WTF.

Albertson's called back after my complaint some weeks ago and said to come by and ask for Rich and they would give me a gift card. WTF!!!

Tommy Lee (Methods of Mayhem and Motley Crue fame)...was across the street havin' sushi and a drink, and he really does rock a bucket cap. But he did not dig on gelato. WTF.

My hair is growing too long and it looks like Ashton Kutchers. WTF!!!

I can't find my superlow grey dkny hipsters. WTF WTF WTF.

Doppelganger the movie started fabulous and ended hokey. WTF.

Asian Sensation food ads are getting on my nerves. WTF.

Those sequined purses annoy me. WTF.

Why is everyone so aggravated lately. They look like they have a demitasse spoon of shit plopped under their nose. WTF.

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

Bow down. LOL

You Are Balanced - Believer - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.

You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go

Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.

Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow

You are a true believer in luck, fate, and karma

You believe that life is a game of chance - not a game of skill.

You either consider yourself very unlucky or very lucky

No matter what, you don't feel like you can change the hand you were dealt

You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order

You realize that working the system does get you further.

You know who to defer to and who to control.

When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.